The Struggle To Think

As you lay on the bed completely still,

Your mom cries as she tries to find in nonexistent pulse,

Where did they go wrong?

Their only son, gone like the snap of fingers.



I wish you'd think of the pretty blonde that sits in class,

Silently sobbing as the principal explains,

The love of her life, the plans, the promises.

My Lord the promises

Shatter around her like broken glass.

How could you do this to her?

None of it matters,

All she wants is to be in your arms,

Have you, your love, your laughter.



The nerdy kid you used to beat up,

Surprisingly he cries too.

You didn't know it,

But even though you beat him up,

Gave him scars, nightmares, and pain,

You were the closest thing to a friend he had,

And now he's all alone again.



Speaking of friends,

There's one of yours in the corner.

The tears pouring from his eyes betray his silent shock.

You were his best friend since the first grade,

Nearly his brother,

Yet you were gone in one small slip of emotion.

People stare at him as he passes by,

The only jock that's crying down the hall and to his car.



Your little sister sits in the middle of her bed,

Wearing your jersey and holding your pillow,

Heart aching as she rocks back and forth.

You were supposed to take her to the movies on Friday,

But you must have forgotten.

You left her alone in a world full of hate,

She lost her best friend and protector,

The only one who cared.



Back to your parents now,

Lets see how they are.

Moms thrown herself into her work,

Unable to cope with your sister and the pain,

She's forgotten you for good.

Dad's sitting on the couch,

Drinkin' booze and hittin' mom,

Thinkin' not a thought about the seven year old girl

In the next room cause she looks too much like you,

His pride and joy.



The girl you loved sits on a box in an alley,

She's lost everyone she ever knew,

Tossed away like yesterday's trash.

That one special night with you before you died...

The child growing inside won't make it....

The one thing left of you.

You mom's lying on the floor with a bloody lip

While your dad falls asleep in a chair,

He won't wake up and she'll be gone in the morning

When your sister wakes up scrounging around for food,

Trying to fill her empty stomach,

While she cries for you.

The kid you beat up gets hit a little too hard,

Falls to the ground where he'll never wake up,

And the one throwing punches is none other than your friend,

He got kicked off the football team for doing dope,

And he was only trying to mess around and have a little fun with the geek....

And now he's gone to.

Gone to jail that is.



So, as you sit and dump the pills in your hand,

When you manage to swallow them down,

I wish you'd sit and think of all this.

But you won't

Because by the time you think about thinking,

It's too late and you'll be glimpsing your last light.



*** IT AFFECTS EVERYONE ***





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