April 12, 2012
On a single day,
That now seems so far away,
My heart was broken and torn in two.
It began with a treasure of sweetness so rare,
Locked away with a task mightily unfair.
I stumbled upon your room of straw,
And upon seeing your face I fell in love.
My powers abound and yet my face did not,
So I demanded a price each night,
To solve your dilemma.
On the third night my mind gave me a clue,
Of a way to win a heart such as you.
Yet not your heart but one of you blood,
That would free me from this thing of love.
So I demanded my payment,
And solved your dilemma.
I upon watching you marry, my payment was due.
For a child was born that was like unto you,
And I desired such a creature if I could not have you.
But your sorrow at seeing that such debt was due,
Made my heart weep for the rare sweetness of you.
So I left your servant a way to find me,
And I sang around a caldron,
So my name would reach your lips.
I lost my love and all that’s true,
My powers abound like unto my sorrow.
For once I helped a rare sweetness,
And I was rewarded with a sorrow so highly cruel.

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JettaWintryThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 29, 2013 at 2:45 pm
Very nice! I honestly don't have a thing to critique! (: The only thing that could rarely be argued is the inconsistent rhyme scheme; it seems to mess up the rhythm a little bit. On the other hand, your word choice is great, and I love the inverted sentence structure.
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