I lay awake grasping at happiness,
knowing soon it will escape my soul
What is this. What are we.
Is this the epitome of my desire
the height of my yearning

I am in love
though I know nothing is permanent.
When will I learn to believe in love
Why should I believe.

They tell me faith will bring salvation
thought it only chases my haunted outlines
as I run through sliding alleyways

I love you, do not say a word
Do not speak any lies.
Even your silence is deafening
can I drown it in my own tears
my own vacant worries.

Kill me, and abandon my dreams.
Why am I here, I do not want things to change.
I promised. I thought I was done running.
Though now the screeches call me again

Now I can hear the monsters release my sanity.
You are my life now. You ruin my life.
But it is not you. It is this.
My mind, my devastating enemy.

What you were trying to speak?
I couldn’t hear you over my blood filled throat.
Desperately I choke on my remorse.
Blind and fleeting. Can’t I stay here forever.

If I never fall through again, I’ll be safe.
I am her protector, her frigid companion, his love.
Her guardian.

I am my own death.
It lives in my body, clutching my inhabitance.
These strings of emotion. Cut them off.
I do not want them anymore.
I do not want this mind anymore.

Paranoia grips me, love strangles me.
Both roads lead to a suicidal existence.
As murder falls over my chest, testing my limits.
Just know that I love you. I always did.