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Prologue

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A fistful of air
to the lungs
dark like cigarette buds
in spring to bloom
cancerous suns
red and hot
like the roof of my tongue
glistening
the last button
of conversation
undone.



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snowleopard100 said...
Apr. 10, 2012 at 10:21 pm
It's a little complex at first, but like "eternal_sunshine" said, when you read it a few times, it gets you. Great imagery, amazing use of adjectives, and thus, fantastic job. Keep it up man!!
 
MermaidInDisguise said...
Apr. 9, 2012 at 3:58 pm
I don't know why, but the imagery in this poem really speaks to me. The things I picture when I read "cancerous suns" and "cigarette buds" compliment the message perfectly.
 
Behind_a_Plastic_Smile said...
Apr. 9, 2012 at 1:55 pm
wow this is really cool esspecially the last 3 lies i think i might quote them as a facebook status lol
 
wordbeater said...
Apr. 7, 2012 at 9:51 am
Thanks everyone for the lovely comments! I really appreciate that you took the time to read my writing! :)
 
Kiyoko This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 7, 2012 at 12:54 am
This is really, really nice. The last three lines are beyond perfect. I've read all of your stuff, and this is by far my favorite. It's concise, and does exactly what it needs to do. Very well done. 
 
Allicat001 said...
Apr. 6, 2012 at 6:37 pm
Beautiful!  The imagery was phenomenal.
 
LadyJaneGrey This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 6, 2012 at 4:57 pm
Oooh, I like this! It's creepy and sweet and beautiful all at the same time. You're talented. 
 
eternal_sunshine said...
Apr. 6, 2012 at 10:51 am
Wow this is beautiful. It's one of those pieces that needs to be read a few times and I think that's great. You're descriptions were unique and interesting, and I love the subtle rhymes you created. If this is a prologue I would be interested to see where it goes! Nice job :)
 
wordbeater replied...
Apr. 6, 2012 at 2:20 pm
Thanks so much!
 
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