It’s during this mid-winter evening that I step outside
I allow the beads of sweat to cool my face
No one can see me, and I’m burning up
Wait who’s there?

It’s lively; it jumps round and round
Obsessive Compulsive disorder, I have correctly diagnosed
It reaches everywhere, grabbing everything - not missing a single detail
I may be mistaken, but doesn’t it seem inviting?

It’s intriguing
So I jump in
But how is it so humble; how is it so honest?
How is it so perfect?

It’s disgusting!
Its emptiness blinds me
Go away! Go far, far away!
Why can’t I escape it?

It’s faster than I
appearing where I think I want to be
Before I even think about it
Is it in my head?

It’s too complex; it’s too much for me
I should have kept that door shut
But even then, it was too late
Was the door even there?

It’s confusing; I’m panicking
But all too suddenly, it lights the way
It never wanted to harm me
So why was I so scared?

It’s mad, I think
“I’m sorry,” I say
“I won’t do it again.”
Will it ever forgive me?

It’s forgiving:
I implore it for mercy
and slowly, once again, it begins to wrap around me
What did I do wrong?

Suddenly, it speaks
Sagaciously; smoothly
It utters… nothing
And then I understand

I get on my knees, and pray
“I promise,” I say
“I’ll make sure the light is off before I come outside.”
The darkness flickers; it is pleased.