Mother? | Teen Ink

Mother?

February 23, 2012
By Anonymous

Lies flying a thousand words a minute
Stumbling and crashing out of your lips
Causing me to pause for just a little bit
If you could be honest for once in your life
You would realize that I am good enough
Good enough for you, better than this
All of the drugs and stupid bulls***
I maybe your daughter, the child you raised
But I’m taking care of you, does that seem fair?
No of course not, but you don’t see
That soon I will be tired of it
Tired of you and the lies you tell
Tired of living in this personal hell
Ready to leave no matter my age
Like a book I want to turn the page
To become someone better than you
Not willing to go through the things you’ve gone through
All because you needed a fix
Something to make you feel better
Escape yourself for a little while
All the time in front of your child?
I grew up thinking that this was alright
That all parents were this way
Willing to step on their children
For the things they desire
Now I see differently, but you do not like it
You scream and shout
Is that what being a mother is all about?
You cry and whine to make me feel bad
Always claiming to be better than dad
But you are just the same as him
Oh don’t look surprised
Look in the mirror at your bloodshot eyes
See the marks covering your face
The way your head rolls left and right
Like you just got beat in a fight
Your words slur together
Your eyes never focus
And you think I don’t notice?
Everyone sees the state that you’re in
It’s not well hidden
You’re always to stoned to see what you are
The fact that your drugs are what cause all the scars
The beautiful mother I thought I knew
That woman is no longer you
I’m tired of crying over things I can’t change
The good little girl has become estranged
So when you wake up from you’re pathetic state
Come see the daughter you forgot
Or not.


The author's comments:
It is one of the first poems I wrote after leaving my mother's house for the last time.

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