Contemplating Thoughts

February 13, 2012
She sits quietly without any movement.
Desperately trying not to draw attention to herself.
People around her talk with enthusiasm,
but she’d rather sit and think about:

Pain and heartache, the battle she’s fighting.
Death and suicide, how she’s trying not to give in.
She’s a straight A girl, doesn’t give any trouble,
but at home she feels like she’s all alone.

She has one friend, the friend that left her.
Made her cry when she was hurt.
Name called and killed her inside,
to the point where she felt like dirt.

Her father hurts her, in a mental way.
She shies inside and just smiles at him.
Forced to live a person that died in her head.
But she just shrugs and lives lies instead.

She’d rather cry softly when music blares.
So no one hears her failing attempts,
to end her life and not live again.
No one cares to look past her mask.

She acts really happy, and sometimes she’s okay.
But lately it’s hurting, she sees darkness every day.
Her heart is burning, there are probably scars,
to show the fight she’s struggling.

She’s felt love, but had it snapped like a twig.
Watched her father drink away his sins.
Loved her mom with her very being,
but maybe to live was not worth doing?

There is no answer,
she scuffles through it all the time.
To give up and end her life,
or to sit back and watch it fly by?

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