February 13, 2012
Unwinding is my bane,
People can’t save me from it,
They see the whole; and none of the parts,
How can they say they can save me,
I can get rid of this evil myself.

Escaping by myself,
Feeling lost and confused,
I want to be found and loved again,
Get me out of this deep, black abyss,
My breath is slowing down.

I feel loved in this darkness,
Others are hiding in it too,
I am no longer alone,
Feeling scared that I have to leave,
I am afraid of being unwound.

I am scared,
I worry about the life lost in the harvest camps,
I believe life is too important,
Why do you steal my life?
Don’t I have the right to live as well.

Hidden in a mask,
The truth unfolds,
Now the evil hiding behind it appears,
Along with it my fears,
My hope is now my disaster.

Why am I losing everything?
Can’t I keep my sanity and hope,
Why do you murder them with your scalpels,
My friends fall under your traps,
I remain unfound.

It can save lives,
At the cost of others,
Friends; Family; neighbors,
All of them look at it like a blessing,
But I see it as a curse.

I didn’t steal it!
It wasn’t me!
Looks like I did it but that’s a lie,
You can’t see the monster inside,
Hiding in my brain.

I want to get rid of it,
I know I can’t,
When I’m unwound it goes to someone else,
Making my burden their burden,
I do not want someone else have to deal with it.

I feel strange,
Emotions flow into my thoughts,
But the emotions aren’t mine,
A person inside my head nudges me softly,
Trying to keep me on the edge.

Life is like a pinball machine,
We keep bouncing one way and another,
Sometimes every ball in play is about to rebound off of us,
We become important,
Even if it’s for a second.

I feel somewhat important,
It feels weird and I’m nervous,
I didn’t want to get involved,
I want to stay away from all this chaos.

I kept to my own spot,
Feeling calm at the orderly pinball machine,
Surprised someone wanted to meet me,
Worried but agreed with it still.

I have been taken,
My fate ends here,
I want to keep my blood,
Instead it’s replaced with fluorescent green,
Like antifreeze is my new blood.

Slowly taking my body apart,
I want to scream,
I want to cry,
But they have taken my eyes,
I want them to die.

Last Words
I was lost,
I can never be found,
In the same place,
I am in many pieces,
I will never be whole.

Life is lost for me,
Why does unwinding have to be free?
This kind of thing shouldn’t be free.

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