Land of Eternity

February 5, 2012
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Pitter pattering across my heart
It creeps through the cracks.
Chiseled out by seas of guilt
It refuses to quit.

Lost souls come
To this land of eternity.
Drowned voices of nothing
But a dying wave.

Dropping one 
By one
The tears will fall
In sandy hands and broken feet.
Smiles rare and far too sweet.

Blink open those shy blues.
Tell me what you see.
Turmoil and strength;
Frightened, but bold.
It's all meant to be
In you,
Not in me;
In this lost land of eternity.





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This article has 6 comments. Post your own now!

Dynamo This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 4, 2012 at 4:04 am
Vague, I think in a sense, but frightfully awesome. The theme upon which your emotions are centralized isn't distinctly defined, but then, this may mark a writing style deviatingfrom the general trend. Which is what I really like. The second quatret now, it was really good. A bit metaphorical, I think, but still it will do. Goodluck!
 
Kiki_McGee replied...
Oct. 12, 2012 at 11:55 am
Thanks. I know I have a tendency to write some vague things (at least in poetry) but I can never seem to write more. I suppose that it's just my style, though I never really picked that I want to write like this... I blame reading to much Emily Dickinson. By the way, I really enjoyed reading your poem "A Message " I added it to my favorites list!
 
Black_Rose_Princess said...
Aug. 26, 2012 at 2:47 am
That was terrific! You're word-choice was fantastic as well. The common theme of water really made the poem seem very unified. It was a very interesting poem and got me wondering, especially about this "land of eternity". It seemed a bit vague in the poem (which isn't necessairly a bad thing, unless you want it to be an absolute thing) and so it could be interperted in many ways based on the reader's own experiences (again, this isn't a bad thing unless there is some sp... (more »)
 
Kiki_McGee replied...
Oct. 12, 2012 at 11:57 am
Thanks, I never intend for it to be so vague but it always is. I guess it's just my writting style. I really enjoyed your running poem, by the way. My favorite part was the last few lines!
 
JustAnotherOwl said...
Feb. 13, 2012 at 3:48 pm
This is kind of beautiful! I liked the words you chose and I loved it, overall! (:
 
Kiki_McGee replied...
Feb. 15, 2012 at 12:50 am
Thanks. I tried to use words revolving around water and the ocean.
 
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