February 2, 2012
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Starting with one
Moving up to more, everyday.
Causing trouble
Ceasing to listen
Making the grief
Skipping out on classes
Wondering if it will ever stop
Getting high
Does he think its fun?
Up to how many packs a day
He knows the consequences
But chooses the actions
Making life so difficult
Lost his job, to high to find another
If only he would make the mature choice for once
His life might start to fall into place
Instead of jail
But the road he is going down, does not lead to a happy state
Once he realizes who his true friends are, he’ll be forever grateful,
He’ll realize his redeemer, and change his ways forevermore

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Silver2black said...
Feb. 9, 2012 at 4:47 am
"to fall into place" needs to be "to fall into 'a' place" Just as the 'a' was missing, It seems as if other lines are missing from this Excellent write, I love it. There's no problem at all if the poem is longer, a poem communicates with the reader, and snappy doesn't work, I love this one out of all your poetry so far, It just needs more work, Way to go !
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