my dearest child i have tried so many times to have you. the tears and pain nearly killed me. i was so attached to you both times before but this time its even more.i dream about if your a boy or girl? who's eyes and smile you might have? are the blue or green? or maybe both? is your smile going to make your eyes shine brighter ? will you have his laugh that makes me smile? will you have my hair so wavy and wild? i think of the things we will do and games we will play. but all that can wait my child because you are here to stay..