I am the Garden

January 7, 2012
By Nick-M SILVER, Oak Park, Illinois
Nick-M SILVER, Oak Park, Illinois
9 articles 0 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
-FLTDO-


An untrimmed garden, soul soiled by hanging leaves, dead petals and twisted gray grass.
Weeds biting into my flaws to keep the scars on my soul, and trap me in shadow.

The call of crows nesting in thorned brambles, nettles of despair hooked into their aching wings.
Such creatures oft lay silent; terror tying their tiny maws shut, and neglect begging their strife to fester.

An untrimmed garden, the storm cackling high above— growing louder, a shriek refusing to pass.
Oozing, black sludge— pained rain feeding the unwelcome, spreading ireful ivy and malicious mallow.

Seeds’ve long been planted, specks of beauty lost to the depths with a hopeless longing to rise like kings.
Like a smiling torch, you’ve begun to burn the hanging leaves, bringing to those kernels a taste of ardor.

The filthy muck dripping from the raging tempest turned glimmering pure, cleansing the morass.
And despite uneven ground, your golden rays pierce the stubborn surface and force my heart to glow.

A passion to rip out weeds and fill wounds, bask in your love and turn dying crows into grinning starlings.
Paper-thin roots sliding from the seeds, cool stems of lush verdure spilling leaves of lilac luster.

An untrimmed garden, soil soon swimming with the sweet fragrance of nectar and sprightly green grass.
Mind afire with color and dancing blossoms—filled with timid tulip, wriggling rose and alluring aster.

And to silently lay with you, staring at the now-clear sky without a whisper of doubt,
is the wondrous dream I can’t do without.


The author's comments:
:D!

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This article has 10 comments.


on Feb. 27 2012 at 3:10 pm
UNserieswriter, New York
0 articles 0 photos 75 comments

Favorite Quote:
idk my bff jill

Now with that in mind, i have to disagree about the flow of the first part. i understand that without the proper formatting, the piece won't come off as it should, but i just don't see the meter of the first two stanzas or so. 

on Feb. 27 2012 at 3:08 pm
UNserieswriter, New York
0 articles 0 photos 75 comments

Favorite Quote:
idk my bff jill

ok well, i really do think you're talented, so the best way for this to work is for us to just keep posting on each other's work. that way i'll see your replies, and you'll see mine. 

on Feb. 26 2012 at 11:03 pm
UNserieswriter, New York
0 articles 0 photos 75 comments

Favorite Quote:
idk my bff jill

hey, i was giving you commentary about this poem, if you're still curious leave a comment on one of my things so i can get back to you (you don't have to read my work haha)

MissShah GOLD said...
on Feb. 26 2012 at 9:18 pm
MissShah GOLD, Nawabshah, Other
12 articles 1 photo 26 comments

Favorite Quote:
`Instead of thinking about how to win, think how u lost last time. u will definitely win`- Adolf Hitler.

nick good job! i liked itx last three lines most...=)

on Feb. 24 2012 at 9:07 pm
Graybass17 BRONZE, Aurora, Colorado
4 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
"We accept the love we think we deserve"

Amazing, you must have put a lot of thought into this!  I am new at poetry writing and have submitted my first piece, hope it makes it!

on Jan. 13 2012 at 6:46 pm
artmantist BRONZE, Willemstad, Other
3 articles 0 photos 72 comments
i really like it nick, it tells so much, very nice, u ve also a gr8 vocabulary

iStorm GOLD said...
on Jan. 13 2012 at 6:34 pm
iStorm GOLD, Anonymous, Other
11 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
You can't change your past, but you can change your future.

My most favorite poem on teenink. Your an amazing writer.

on Jan. 12 2012 at 7:58 pm
WrittenEmotions PLATINUM, Fairhope, Alabama
32 articles 0 photos 209 comments

Favorite Quote:
The only people who don't get anywhere are the people who don't dream of a better place for themselves...

This is absolutely great! I adore this, and trust me, you're very brave(:

Nick-M SILVER said...
on Jan. 11 2012 at 10:34 pm
Nick-M SILVER, Oak Park, Illinois
9 articles 0 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
-FLTDO-

Thanks so much! I was nervous about this one.

Lyrics SILVER said...
on Jan. 11 2012 at 8:49 pm
Lyrics SILVER, Nelson, Other
7 articles 4 photos 42 comments

Favorite Quote:
You know your in love when you cant fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams ~ Dr.Suess

Haunting, Stunning, amazing. great work :)


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