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Sometimes Trying Isn't Good Enough

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Believe me,
I am REALLY trying
and it breaks me
when I go back to my
old ways that
I want to forget
but it creeps back.
TRYING
is just a word used
to shut people up,
but a word that people
stop believing in after
some uses of it.
Somethings yes:
I really AM
trying to get over
and some
NO.
But it seems to over power me,
the will to do so
to do things I vowed
not to do.
Stay strong for awhile,
then
I
F
A
L
L
and eventually
S-h At-Te R
But what to do,
a calling more of.
Something whispering,
but also something forcing.
Forcing me to
think of those thoughts that
saddens me,
that tear me,
that have torn me,
that has broken be.
And some how I was able to
sweep up
MOST
of the pieces
and put myself back together,
only MOSTLY though.
There is always that one piece
where you don’t know where it belongs
but you know it belongs somewhere
so you just keep it to the side
and hoping you will find the place to put it,
if there’s a place to put it…
Trying…
just know that I’m trying.




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