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Birthday Candles

The three decker cake stood before me on the table
All thirteen candles lit and waiting,

The wax melting and fading,
And the base plunged into the goodness of vanilla icing

As the spotlight birthday song continued to be sung.
Once it’s over, the candles seem to get brighter,

Smiles seem to get wider,
And the balloons seem to get lighter

As I stare at the round, sugary cake.
I can feel everybody’s eyes on me,
Beckoning my wish to come and blow out the candles,

So that the mocking cake can be devoured.
I can’t think of my wish or how to put it in words;
I feel pressured with all the family’s and camera’s eyes

Poised on me with expectance.
The icing covered cake sweats on the table,

And within seconds I make up my mind
I take a deep breath and blow 12 flaming candles out

And on the 13th I whisper softly,
'I blew out my birthday candles

And wished for you.'



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smichelle said...
Jan. 20, 2012 at 7:33 pm
i love this, i feel like we are there with you at this party. I really did not see the end coming though, Maybe a few subtiles hints would've been a little betteer. But it's an amazing poem.
 
JaneCapelleThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 21, 2012 at 6:37 pm
Thats what i was aiming for, an unexpected ending. It's actually to someone, as you can see with the dedication, and so i wanted it to be surprising for them. When they read it, i didn't want them to know until the end that i wished for them. It was a surprise =)
 
Inksplotch said...
Jan. 20, 2012 at 4:34 pm
Aw, this is really cute (: The details are amazing. I'm literally sitting there with you, watching you blow out your candles (: And... I can totally relate to it. I've wished on countless shooting stars and 11:11's wishing for a certain person... sigh. ANYWAYS. You are an amazing writer, keep writing! (:
 
JaneCapelleThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 20, 2012 at 7:27 pm
Thaaank you :D i'm really glad my poem can make people feel like that. :) and yay! thats what i aim for! For people to be able to relate. I wish on 11:11s too :P I think your wish will come true someday. =) and thanks!!
 
Silver2blackThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 20, 2012 at 6:53 am
That was sweet, it felt like I was invited, l like the included details, I love it, nice share !
 
JaneCapelleThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 20, 2012 at 7:23 pm
thank you thank you thank you! =)
 
Destinee This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 19, 2012 at 11:34 pm
That was actually really good! I loved the ending. Totally unexpected. :)
 
JaneCapelleThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 20, 2012 at 7:23 pm
:D thanks!
 
N.k. said...
Jan. 19, 2012 at 7:35 pm
Little boy here, just wanted to say that this poem was really, just indulging, it pulls u in and never lets u go. I love it and it really described the seen, -little boy
 
JaneCapelleThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 20, 2012 at 7:22 pm
You and i both know that you're not a little boy and < 3 thank you =) , Mr. Guy I Wished For ;)
 
Choosing2Live4Christ said...
Jan. 19, 2012 at 7:11 pm
I love the ending, it's so sweet! :)
 
JaneCapelleThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 20, 2012 at 7:21 pm
thanks! =) i like your screen name, btw!
 
Choosing2Live4Christ replied...
Jan. 20, 2012 at 7:26 pm
you're welcome! I get that a lot :-)
 
AngelsLullaby said...
Jan. 18, 2012 at 11:37 pm
I loved the imagery in this poem. And the ending was so sweet. 5/5 stars
 
JaneCapelleThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 19, 2012 at 5:08 pm
thanks! :D
 
Sokon492 said...
Jan. 18, 2012 at 8:55 pm
its a good poem........... now i want cake
 
JaneCapelleThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 19, 2012 at 5:07 pm
Thank you and here...*hands Sokon492 a cyber cake*
 
Sokon492 said...
Jan. 18, 2012 at 8:54 pm
its pretty good ..... now i want cake
 
JaneCapelleThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 19, 2012 at 5:07 pm
o.O two comments, same person :p
 
-Kal- said...
Jan. 18, 2012 at 4:57 pm
That was so sweet :) Good job :)
 
JaneCapelleThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 18, 2012 at 4:59 pm
thanks! =)
 
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