Birthday Candles | Teen Ink

Birthday Candles

December 28, 2011
By marissadele PLATINUM, Danbury, Connecticut
marissadele PLATINUM, Danbury, Connecticut
20 articles 3 photos 388 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you know how you feel, and so clearly what you need to say, you'll know it. I don't think you should wait. I think you should speak now." -Taylor Swift


The three decker cake stood before me on the table
All thirteen candles lit and waiting,

The wax melting and fading,
And the base plunged into the goodness of vanilla icing

As the spotlight birthday song continued to be sung.
Once it’s over, the candles seem to get brighter,

Smiles seem to get wider,
And the balloons seem to get lighter

As I stare at the round, sugary cake.
I can feel everybody’s eyes on me,
Beckoning my wish to come and blow out the candles,

So that the mocking cake can be devoured.
I can’t think of my wish or how to put it in words;
I feel pressured with all the family’s and camera’s eyes

Poised on me with expectance.
The icing covered cake sweats on the table,

And within seconds I make up my mind
I take a deep breath and blow 12 flaming candles out

And on the 13th I whisper softly,
'I blew out my birthday candles

And wished for you.'


The author's comments:
Dedication:





To Noah,
I will always be wishing for you.

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This article has 189 comments.


on Oct. 13 2014 at 11:08 am
gaabbbeeee_ BRONZE, Las Vegas, Nevada
4 articles 0 photos 5 comments
LOVE THIS!

on Feb. 13 2014 at 11:06 am
untold_secrets, Peoria, Arizona
0 articles 0 photos 4 comments
i love your poem i loved how you used something so small and make it come to life.

lexiibeale said...
on Jan. 7 2014 at 4:57 pm
lexiibeale, Germantown, Maryland
0 articles 0 photos 50 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Colour my life with the chaos of trouble"

I love the poem up until the last stanza. It totally changed the poem and disrupted the flow.

on Dec. 21 2013 at 8:42 am
devilish_angel, Spring, Texas
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
Don't justify your bullshit lies
It's so obvious that you're fake.
Who's fooling who? I know the truth.
This drama is more than I can take
~botdf

i liked this

on Dec. 7 2013 at 6:53 pm
potatoqueen BRONZE, Eads, Tennessee
4 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
Anytime anybody pulls you down, anytime anybody says you're not allowed, just remember you are not alone in the aftermath. -Adam Lambert

I love how simple this was and how it builds. The ending was so cute also :D

dinks PLATINUM said...
on Nov. 17 2013 at 11:16 am
dinks PLATINUM, Hinsdale, Illinois
28 articles 0 photos 80 comments

Favorite Quote:
"and kisses are a better faith than freedom"

the use of imagery was very useful, it mad me feel like I was there too

on Nov. 9 2013 at 7:26 pm
TaylorWintry DIAMOND, Carrollton, Texas
72 articles 0 photos 860 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Never fear shadows. They simply mean there's a light shining somewhere nearby." - Unknown

Personally, I like the kind of slow start to this piece... It really created a lot of suspense. I really admire how you took such a seemingly insignificant event and just personalized it and made it something NEW, like, to read. Really, this was cool.

on Nov. 1 2013 at 11:29 pm
KaylaaLovee GOLD, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
14 articles 1 photo 61 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Imperfection is beauty. Madness is genius. And its better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring. And when it comes down to it, I let them think what they want. If they care enough to bother with what I do, I'm already better than them."

You did a great job using imagry! It felt like i was there in the exsperince with you!

KingFoe SILVER said...
on Oct. 31 2013 at 4:40 pm
KingFoe SILVER, Morristown, New Jersey
6 articles 0 photos 42 comments
truthfully I thought it started out kind of slow and didn't hook me until after the middle of it, but it has alot of potential it just didn't flow all that well. But that's just me, obviously alot of other people really loved it. 

on Oct. 10 2013 at 8:50 pm
Tonnetta BRONZE, Cleveland, Ohio
2 articles 1 photo 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
-Be a leader not a follower.
-Stay on the right side of the road in life.
- I anit picture perfect but i'm worth the picture still.

This is real cute, simple & sweet. I love it !

on Oct. 5 2013 at 3:49 pm
DarknessHasFallen GOLD, Broomfield, Colorado
12 articles 0 photos 39 comments

Favorite Quote:
I'm fine. I just feel like I'm shattered into hundred of little shards of glass and I'm going to hurt everybody who loves me.

Girl I love this poem. Keep writing so we can keep reading  your masterpieces. You're doing great. 

on Aug. 28 2013 at 12:43 am
thatunknownthing DIAMOND, Dubai, Other
67 articles 0 photos 211 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift; that's why they call it the present"

great job with the candle imagery and metaphors, vivid descriptions, and interesting end, though you could have elaborated a bit more on that. Keep writing!

on Aug. 19 2013 at 3:52 am
dejarenee SILVER, Goose Creek, South Carolina
6 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Write to Liberate"

Your word choice for this poem was very good. It didn't capture with the opening line, but i loved the ending lines! 

on Aug. 16 2013 at 3:37 pm
PeanutButterJelly SILVER, Hanahan, South Carolina
5 articles 0 photos 5 comments
I loved this piece of work. The symbolism of the candles was very smart. I feel as though the end was very short and abrupt, but it worked for the style and twist in the poem. Definetelynone of my favorites!

on Aug. 4 2013 at 2:56 pm
lauren_mcmicking SILVER, Goose Creek, South Carolina
6 articles 0 photos 10 comments
This poem was very descriptive and relatable for birthdays. My favorite part, however, was the last three lines because it changes the plot. I just wish I would've been more interested in the first part to make this poem more affective for me. Great work.

M. said...
on Aug. 4 2013 at 2:04 pm
I like the imagery and how you can relate to the birthday part of it. However, my favorite line was the last three, because I like how the poem was switched up to a different plot.

on Mar. 9 2012 at 7:38 pm
koala_song BRONZE, Pitttsburgh, Pennsylvania
4 articles 0 photos 2 comments

OMG that was oh...i dont know...

AWESOME!!!!!!!! like seriously I absolutely loved that!!!!!! wow I am so happy it's being published. You deserve it girl...you really do!!! Good luck!!!(haha but you don't need luck! You have all the talent you could get! LOLz)


on Feb. 25 2012 at 1:10 pm
marissadele PLATINUM, Danbury, Connecticut
20 articles 3 photos 388 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you know how you feel, and so clearly what you need to say, you'll know it. I don't think you should wait. I think you should speak now." -Taylor Swift

Thank you SO much!! :D

on Feb. 25 2012 at 1:09 pm
marissadele PLATINUM, Danbury, Connecticut
20 articles 3 photos 388 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you know how you feel, and so clearly what you need to say, you'll know it. I don't think you should wait. I think you should speak now." -Taylor Swift

Thank you!! =)

on Feb. 18 2012 at 5:42 pm
marissadele PLATINUM, Danbury, Connecticut
20 articles 3 photos 388 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you know how you feel, and so clearly what you need to say, you'll know it. I don't think you should wait. I think you should speak now." -Taylor Swift

Thank you, and I actually did, it's being published in an actual book!! :D


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