happiness.
yeah i felt it before.
its been so long since this feeling has risen up in me.
i remember when i was around 4 or 5,i had a swing.
every day i would go swing on it and pretend that i was flying.
i always made up some of the most interesting games.
for me, the swing was a symbol of imagination.
i could be whatever i wanted to be while i was on that swing.
i didn't have a care in the world.
no one to tell me i was a failure, i was just a free spirit.
i miss that happiness.
eventually as i grew older my life seemed to slowly rot away like my swing did.
all of my dreams seemed to become a part of the past.
all of my happiness seemed to slip away as the reality of life kept hitting harder.
now at this point of unbearable unhappiness,all i can do is go back to the moments i spent with the swing.
the moments when i was so happy i didn't know any other feeling.
i want another swing, i want to be able to sit on it and go back to the memories of happiness, a feeling that is long gone from my life.
although it may sound silly how something so materialistic could bring me so much happiness, its what i fall back on.
i miss being happy, and i miss being able to dream to be whatever i wanted to be.
the events happening in my life lately have kept bringing me back to those memories.
i want to go back to before i was a failure and a quitter.
before people talked about me behind my back.
all i want is a simple swing, nothing more.
a swing that could be so magical that it could take me back to my greatest level of happiness.
yet it could be so simple that the swaying motion would comfort me in my times of need.
all i want is some level of my happiness back.