Greatest Mistake

December 9, 2011
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How did I let you go
I have no answer, I honestly don't know
One day you were mine then I pushed you away
I'm crying on the floor begging you to stay
You look bewildered for good reason, say I did this to myself
I understand what you are saying but I can't stand by myself
You were my rock my shield you were my epitome of safety
You were the only one that
I knew could save me from this hurt
But I threw you out into the wind
I wouldn't let you get close enough; wouldn't let real love begin
And that's where I am now
How did we come so far
I shouldn't say 'we', it's my fault
I'll take the blame for where we are
You'd like me to stay out of your life
But I need you like a fly is drawn to the light
You're telling me how over we are
But I can't get it through my thick head
I'm convinced that if I tell you enough times
Say I'm sorry until I can't speak no more
Then maybe you will find the strength to walk
Back through my door
I'm sorry for giving up everything we had before
Before I made the greatest mistake of my life
Before I had given up the will to fight
Before I had made the phone call that changed it all
I wish I had the chance to take another fall
I'd even jump this time
I just told you that I miss you and want you to be mine
For the first time in awhile you texted back
But I'm scared to read it
I'm hoping that it's a 'I miss you too' or at least a smile
But I can't be sure, that I can hardly count on it
So I'm writing this, trying to postpone
Reading the text message you sent me on my phone
My stomach is sinking and I am dreading
But the back of my mind dares to hope
So I take a deep breath, clutch my phone in my hand
Unlock the code and pray that I'll understand
I swallow my pride and with everything I have left
I open the message that says,
'I'm sorry.'

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