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Can You Whisper me a Lie

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Can you whisper me a lie?
Come a little closer, brush my hair back
Whisper good things
My hope survives in only lies
For what truth we have is a crumbling world
People falling prey to greed
Good memories are long forgotten
and the bad are always lingering
A turn of events, a loss indeed
People lost in mixed emotions
And when were heroes forgotten?
And the monsters we let plague our minds
A border between the perfect and the misfits,
sets no rules to real justice
And the only story left to tell,
is our mistakes, our fails, our wanted dreams
No trust is simple; it’s no escape
A lie will set these chains on fire
and my heart will begin to beat
Our fatal world,
a truth I bear
but,
Say you love me
Make me see that we’re forever
Whisper me at least that lie




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wordjunkie said...
Mar. 11, 2012 at 7:37 pm:
My god. This was...really good. I love the way you seperate the sentences. breathless.
 
applesauceHaterThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 11, 2012 at 10:33 pm :
oh wow. that is one amazing comment. I'm verry flattered:)thankyou so much. it means alot!
 
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Chelsi-Law said...
Feb. 7, 2012 at 3:58 pm:
This is realy good. How long have you been into writing?
 
applesauceHaterThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Feb. 24, 2012 at 6:30 pm :
Only a couple years. though people teeninl and the people in my life helped me reach far. Now I just need to work on my verb tenses in my other writings:)thankyou!!!
 
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applesauceHaterThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 3, 2012 at 5:02 pm:
aweXD!!!i feel soooo greatful. i hope i can continue to make work people can enjoy at the same time
 
applesauceHaterThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 3, 2012 at 5:03 pm :
because first, i write for myself:)just also hope u can enjoy too
 
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Love.Hate.Passion. said...
Dec. 29, 2011 at 7:43 pm:
This poem is legit. You write poetry very very well. I expect to see your work published in the magazine soon. Keep it up! *****
 
applesauceHaterThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 3, 2012 at 5:06 pm :
heh :)u remind me of a few of my friends, they use the word legit:)thankyou for ur comment!it means so much to me! and what u said!!!!oy!!!:)i am very greatful and even embarased!it was a very nice things ya said
 
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MoraleAsh said...
Dec. 25, 2011 at 3:28 pm:
I really enjoy the concept of this piece. My only suggestion is maybe seperate your lines into stanzas so it's more eye appleaing. Otherwise, this is great!
 
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applesauceHaterThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Dec. 8, 2011 at 10:15 pm:

o o

 ^    thats an amzing compliment!

 
LoudDreamerThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Dec. 9, 2011 at 8:17 am :
I love this, apple! You are an amazing writer.  I loved the last three lines. It is a little cynical I admit, but sometimes I feel that way when I think about love.
 
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FrAme said...
Dec. 8, 2011 at 9:02 pm:
This is really good. I'm wondering why it hasn't shown up on the home page of the website yet.
 
applesauceHaterThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Dec. 8, 2011 at 10:08 pm :
0_o?would that mean its kinda good?if so, i think its because not everyone would agree. But im glad you think its good.
 
FrAme replied...
Dec. 8, 2011 at 10:10 pm :
Yeah. I definitely think it's good. I can feel some emotion and it flows nicely. In my opinion it's better then most of the high rated poems.
 
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HoldingFastThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 8, 2011 at 4:13 pm:
That's really good. i love the middle that pretty much critizes the world. its pretty legit. Very well written. I have no critiziem.
 
applesauceHaterThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Dec. 8, 2011 at 10:06 pm :
oy:)i have another poem that perty much critisizes the world again, its pending. but i dont mean to sound dark! this poem just came to me and those words in the middle needed to be there:)
 
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