Daddy's Womb | Teen Ink

Daddy's Womb MAG

April 23, 2008
By Anonymous

i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.



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This article has 2180 comments.


on Mar. 31 2010 at 10:28 am
um, exxxxcuse me star lady. but this is the internet. we can post, say, do whatever we want. we aren't ever going to see you anywhere. there isn't anything to worry about :) and i don't care if my posts aren't critical. i'm not a critical person. i like to joke around. maybe you should learn how to. because it seems to me that you're a little girl with a stick in your butt. so take a deep breath, and just calm down :) the world isn't going to end in 2012, so everything will be just fine. thanks.

on Mar. 31 2010 at 1:35 am
SolvoAnimus BRONZE, Jamaica, New York
1 article 0 photos 29 comments
i always love reading this poem...its probably my 10th time lol

on Mar. 30 2010 at 9:55 pm
raychell.faith GOLD, Somewhere You Left Your Heart, California
12 articles 0 photos 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You Risk Tears If You Let Yourself Be Tamed;" The Little Prince

i get it. even if i don't. and i think that's really the whole point. hearing echos of phrases like "those who save us," and "the ties that bind."

on Mar. 30 2010 at 8:35 pm
Karma_Chameleon SILVER, English, Indiana
8 articles 0 photos 236 comments

Favorite Quote:
To be able to say "I love you" one must first be able to say "I" - Ayn Rand

Wow pgannon, really?

wolveseye GOLD said...
on Mar. 30 2010 at 1:08 pm
wolveseye GOLD, Tok, Alaska
17 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
Which would be worse: To live as a monster, or to die as a good man?

love it! keep writing!

on Mar. 30 2010 at 11:36 am
Starrlyt PLATINUM, Willard, North Carolina
20 articles 0 photos 89 comments

Favorite Quote:
Shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land among the stars -Les Brown

OK. 1st I would like to say that the poem ROCKS!!! 2nd I would like to say I agree with the folks that said we are meant to post comments.  However, the comments do not have to be rude.  Critiquing is an important part of being a good writer.  If you can't critique another's poem then how do you expect them to critique yours? And it's not like any of us are god or watev.  No one is perfect so all ya'll that are actin' all snobby need to stop.  Maybe there's a hidden meaning behind this poem that ya'll don't know about.  For all ya'll know this kid's dad could have been beatin' them and the only way they could vent was through this poem.  Trust me when I say control freaks as parents, so not cool!!! So do me and everyone else up here a favor and back off!!!! ....but like I said, great poem... I loved it!!!!

whatthef said...
on Mar. 29 2010 at 11:01 am

alright, what is going on. runescape sucks. and that person was totally kidding when they put "i love runescape, but i love this poem more" NO ONE LOVES RUNESCAPE OR THIS POEM BECAUSE QUITE FRANKLY THIS POEM MAKES NO SENSE IN PARTS AND IT ALSO IS DEPRESSING AS F AND IT KIND OF MAKES ME WANT TO SHOOT MY DAD EVEN THOUGH I HAVE A LOVELY DAD. omfg, what is wrong with you.

deathisyourfavoritewordbutgreatestfear,

okay why is it your favorite word. its not even a cool word. i have to kill myself now. this is ridiculous. this is just idiotic


on Mar. 29 2010 at 10:59 am
okay, nashy-poo. this had nothing to do with the poem. get with the program.

on Mar. 29 2010 at 10:57 am
THATS WHY WE BE COMMENTING ON THIS. TO GET OUT COMMENTS OUT TO THE TEENINK WRITING WORLD. SO DON'T TELL ME TO KEEP THEM TO MYSELF. I'LL BE LETTING YOU KNOW WHAT MY COMMENTS ARE.

Ramzan SILVER said...
on Mar. 29 2010 at 9:56 am
Ramzan SILVER, Loveland, Ohio
8 articles 0 photos 29 comments
Wonderful poem. The end hints at more, and is just a little bit haunting. Great job!

on Mar. 28 2010 at 8:18 pm
Caroline Klidonas SILVER, York, Pennsylvania
7 articles 0 photos 3 comments
The ending is uncomfortable but gives the entire poem meaning and a reason for being written. I love how it all leads up to that. Nice work.

on Mar. 27 2010 at 9:59 pm
Shivanie BRONZE, Manhattan, New York
1 article 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
expect the unexpected

THIS IZ REALLY NICE LUV IT

keyoka SILVER said...
on Mar. 27 2010 at 7:55 pm
keyoka SILVER, Mckinney, Texas
6 articles 0 photos 3 comments

I saw a lot of meenie/random posts here...

I actually really liked the poem...alot. It's beautiful.

I thought it was written very well and the person that wrote it is very talented and should keep writing


on Mar. 26 2010 at 5:23 pm
deathismyfavoritewordbutmygreatestfear SILVER, Collinsville, Connecticut
5 articles 0 photos 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
Without you my life was like a starless night

nice. I used to ♥ runescape 2.....then I grew up.....(no offense) but I do like this poem. If you looks through the lines, you see the story behind it. People who dont c this, obviously don't have an iner persepective.

P.S. could you guys check out my stories and poems and everything. i dont have many things up, but id really like some comments so that I could improve. Thank you :)


pgannon said...
on Mar. 26 2010 at 10:53 am
who wants an alltoid

marlone said...
on Mar. 26 2010 at 10:51 am
my weiner is 6 feet

on Mar. 26 2010 at 10:50 am
marlone ur gay

on Mar. 26 2010 at 10:48 am
YeAH MarRLoNE i DIqq. WatCHu sAyINn iS LiKe WeEzY oN dHA trAcK! DaMn MarLEy BrAatT!! iHmA GhEttChU ;) ;)

on Mar. 26 2010 at 10:48 am
marlone you dirty little______ im gonna punch you i your 6 foot wang

Luc Avilles said...
on Mar. 26 2010 at 10:48 am
Hey Marlone! It's me Luc, lol at history class next period, and oh, this article sucks