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Daddy's Womb This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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Nicole B. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 3, 2009 at 10:44 pm:
This is really superb. Your comparison between the examples of freedom and the imagery of being captured was very - well, for lack of a better word - poetic. I felt like it reached out and stroked my cheek.
 
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Sayummi said...
Dec. 2, 2009 at 5:33 pm:
amazing writing......i love it!! keep writing ur very good
 
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Holmes said...
Dec. 2, 2009 at 1:20 pm:
really really good! i like it
 
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Grahmmy said...
Dec. 1, 2009 at 10:49 pm:
This is great, but I'm saddened that I can never seem to see mine commented on...
 
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adeladesp said...
Dec. 1, 2009 at 3:12 pm:
I absolutely love this.
 
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Ann_Hill789 said...
Nov. 27, 2009 at 9:52 pm:
Simply amazing! Keep writing, you're really good.
 
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BreBreezy said...
Nov. 27, 2009 at 3:18 pm:
your poem is very awesome....you should keepwriting
 
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Moonbeam13 said...
Nov. 27, 2009 at 1:23 pm:
Awesome poem!
 
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~Reaa.Mae~ said...
Nov. 27, 2009 at 10:44 am:
You definitely have caught my attention with the poem. Couldn't stop reading it over again. I absolutely love your writing, and look forward to reading more. Your words flow so well. :) Great meaning!
& Great work!!!
~Reaa.Mae~ <3
 
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saby:)**** said...
Nov. 26, 2009 at 11:23 am:
i like it alot
 
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Nina.C said...
Nov. 26, 2009 at 10:39 am:
The effectiveness prospers with every word.
 
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AlexisJo(: said...
Nov. 25, 2009 at 5:40 pm:
Wow this is really good (:
do the world a favor, keep writing (:
 
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revolutionary said...
Nov. 25, 2009 at 4:28 pm:
wow...just wow, excellent man
 
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bloggergirl93 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 23, 2009 at 10:23 pm:
I think I understand what this is about. And if I do I can completely relate. Check out some of my work?
 
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hahaha said...
Nov. 23, 2009 at 6:45 pm:
COol.. 0_o
 
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NightWorldGirl This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 23, 2009 at 10:00 am:
Dear Carl,
WOW! Amazing! This poem contains so many great features I don't know where to start! Good work!
NightWorldGirl
 
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jmc.13 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 23, 2009 at 8:41 am:
This poem was brilliant. The imagery was fantastic and it really flowed well.
Congratulations on writing a superb poem!
 
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lindsey said...
Nov. 20, 2009 at 1:58 pm:
i like this poem. you should write some like this one!!
 
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princessa101 said...
Nov. 18, 2009 at 6:03 pm:
This is an awesome poem. It is so great. It is great it should be published. Wow coooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooollllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll.
 
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emily.a said...
Nov. 18, 2009 at 3:32 am:
a really nice poem with a deep meaning
 
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