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Daddy's Womb This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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joshow said...
Mar. 11, 2010 at 9:57 am
this is a great poem
 
allie.vgr1994 said...
Mar. 10, 2010 at 7:53 am
It was really good!!!!!! I really love people who express their feelings in that way!♥!♥!♥!♥!♥!♥!♥!♥
 
LaReSt This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 9, 2010 at 6:56 am
This is one of the best poems I have read. Good Job!!!
 
allie.vgr1994 replied...
Mar. 10, 2010 at 7:57 am
I think it was one of the greatest things ever!!!!!! Have you writen anything like this?
 
LaReSt replied...
Mar. 10, 2010 at 10:05 am
I have but it is a religious one. I am wating to see my work get published here. Hopefully it will be soon.
 
chrissmd said...
Mar. 8, 2010 at 9:40 pm
this is so good... i love the symbolism you used. great job!
 
writergirl914 said...
Mar. 8, 2010 at 4:35 pm
I really like it. And apparently so does everyone else. 473??!! Keep up the good work!
 
adam17 said...
Mar. 8, 2010 at 11:45 am
i dont get it
 
LaReSt This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Mar. 9, 2010 at 6:58 am
It's saying how a parent can tell you you can do anything and/or be anything but in the end they are the ones who try to hold you back be it for a reason like they aren't ready for you to go or selfish reasons.
 
CHEERLEADER~4~life said...
Mar. 8, 2010 at 9:03 am
i really liked your poem...keep up the good work!!!!
:D
 
allie.vgr1994 replied...
Mar. 10, 2010 at 7:55 am
Yeah it was great I would agree!♥!♥!♥!♥!♥!♥
 
LostChild said...
Mar. 6, 2010 at 9:08 am
Your poem was very visual the picture of a boy wanting to go beyond grounds but at the end you was bound heck ima be able to write like this amazing keep it up
 
MariaMarie This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 4, 2010 at 7:51 pm
I really love this, cool. It flows together good and the imaginary is awesome! :)
 
peace.frog.271 replied...
Mar. 7, 2010 at 8:47 pm
er... imaginary, or imagery? sorry, I have a sick case of OCD.. hehe
 
MariaMarie This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Mar. 8, 2010 at 4:25 pm
lol, it's ok. Imagery is good
 
Ralin said...
Mar. 4, 2010 at 4:28 pm
i thought that your piece is beautifully put together. i love the way you let your thoughts out on paper... or online lol like i do. u should try to enter in on a contest
 
liblib33 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 3, 2010 at 8:28 pm
I could only wish to write something like this. Great job!!!!
 
crisscross said...
Mar. 3, 2010 at 7:18 pm
its amazing your deep concept on life the grasp you have on it the view you see your poem in i dont know but in my minds eye as i read i saw a embodied adult ready to flee ready to become successful ready to be one on his own but as our ties to our parents emotional most causes us to linger around a bit.
 
ladycasanova said...
Mar. 3, 2010 at 5:20 pm
I think that this poem is about growing up and wanting your own life and independence. I can really connect with it.
 
Teen13 said...
Mar. 3, 2010 at 3:09 pm
I wish I could write a piece like this, honestly I couldn't follow on what was happening but it was deep and amazing, wonderful job!
 
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