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Daddy's Womb This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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MariaMarie This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 4, 2010 at 7:51 pm
I really love this, cool. It flows together good and the imaginary is awesome! :)
 
peace.frog.271 replied...
Mar. 7, 2010 at 8:47 pm
er... imaginary, or imagery? sorry, I have a sick case of OCD.. hehe
 
MariaMarie This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Mar. 8, 2010 at 4:25 pm
lol, it's ok. Imagery is good
 
Ralin said...
Mar. 4, 2010 at 4:28 pm
i thought that your piece is beautifully put together. i love the way you let your thoughts out on paper... or online lol like i do. u should try to enter in on a contest
 
liblib33 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 3, 2010 at 8:28 pm
I could only wish to write something like this. Great job!!!!
 
crisscross said...
Mar. 3, 2010 at 7:18 pm
its amazing your deep concept on life the grasp you have on it the view you see your poem in i dont know but in my minds eye as i read i saw a embodied adult ready to flee ready to become successful ready to be one on his own but as our ties to our parents emotional most causes us to linger around a bit.
 
ladycasanova said...
Mar. 3, 2010 at 5:20 pm
I think that this poem is about growing up and wanting your own life and independence. I can really connect with it.
 
Teen13 said...
Mar. 3, 2010 at 3:09 pm
I wish I could write a piece like this, honestly I couldn't follow on what was happening but it was deep and amazing, wonderful job!
 
kujo96 said...
Mar. 2, 2010 at 3:19 pm
very nice i like tht u r bound
 
alpinestars976 said...
Mar. 2, 2010 at 10:56 am
Awesome poem!
 
bmms said...
Mar. 2, 2010 at 10:14 am
I think it was allright
 
KeemO12 replied...
Mar. 2, 2010 at 10:48 am
so watchu dad dosent let u party that sucks nice peom tho"lol
 
bmmssb said...
Mar. 2, 2010 at 10:09 am
i LOVE this poem it Sooooooo good i wish i could write somthing like this
 
bmmmsaw said...
Mar. 2, 2010 at 9:30 am
nice poem i reaaly liked it
 
bmmsgk said...
Mar. 2, 2010 at 8:34 am
its good but why does it have the part where there dad said that they will drown
 
BMMSAr said...
Mar. 2, 2010 at 8:33 am
heyyyyy. iloveee thiss poem. i get that your dad is over protectiveee soo is mine so it really fits meee
 
$MB609$ replied...
Mar. 2, 2010 at 10:49 am
yall need to get out nd go party!
 
bmmscs said...
Mar. 2, 2010 at 7:55 am
Really good but is he drownin or what?
 
BMMSkf said...
Mar. 2, 2010 at 7:53 am
I love this one. It makes me read it again. YOu should read it EVERYONE!
 
secrets said...
Mar. 1, 2010 at 10:58 am
i really like this. i think that, like many others, if we weren't bound by someone we would all be better people. this is reallt good
 
bmmsTA said...
Mar. 1, 2010 at 10:36 am
i dont understand it i cant tell if its about drowning or flying?
 
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