Daddy's Womb MAG

April 23, 2008
By Carl Haynes, Staten Island, NY

i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.



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This article has 2125 comments.


on Jan. 1 2012 at 8:01 pm
shmam7624 SILVER, Evansville, Wisconsin
6 articles 0 photos 31 comments

Favorite Quote:
We must become the change we want to see
-Mahatma Gandhi

Love it! I keep reading it over and over again.

on Jan. 1 2012 at 9:13 am
TawnyNerd1995 SILVER, Unit 15584, Other
6 articles 1 photo 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Words are just emotion, cut into little pieces." -ECW

paints a wonderful picture.

vazenitran98 said...
on Dec. 28 2011 at 11:03 am
vazenitran98, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
0 articles 0 photos 79 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I had the blues because I had no shoes until upon the street,I met a man who had no feet."

Amazing. You are very talented.

Kim Ross said...
on Dec. 28 2011 at 9:00 am
Kim Ross, Vidor, Texas
0 articles 0 photos 2 comments
this is o.k. for a free verse. But I am confused on the title a mother has a womb not the father. All in all its alright.

Annoymous said...
on Dec. 26 2011 at 10:07 pm
Annoymous, Arlignton, Virginia
0 articles 0 photos 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
Respect yourself
and others will respect you

that was amazing

on Dec. 26 2011 at 6:56 pm
Anthropologie BRONZE, San Francisco, California
2 articles 5 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Speak softly and carry a big stick, and you will go far" -Theodore Roosevelt

That was absolutely beautiful. I wish I could have your talent!

Tremendous said...
on Dec. 24 2011 at 10:06 pm
didn't see that coming. eloquently written. bravo!

on Dec. 24 2011 at 3:03 pm
AlexisTashe SILVER, Cheltenham, Maryland
9 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"You're Not Alive Unless You're Living"

Beautiful.!

on Dec. 23 2011 at 9:33 pm
trainboy PLATINUM, Washington, Virginia
40 articles 1 photo 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The higher we go, the better we shall hear the voice of Christ." Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati
"You may be what ever You resolve to be." General "Stonewall" Jackson

Really, your going to respond with that type of comment?!

on Dec. 22 2011 at 11:56 am
MeganRozalia BRONZE, N/a, New York
2 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
"shoot for the moon. even if you miss, you'll land among the stars"

cant we all just get along

PrimaDonna said...
on Dec. 21 2011 at 11:42 pm
I'm confused... How is this free verse?  I like the theme and the way that its written but it is rhyming and has a definite structure...

on Dec. 21 2011 at 12:42 pm
Schuyler BRONZE, Bronx, New York
3 articles 0 photos 12 comments
I love the theme of your poem about an overprotected father that won't let his child go or grow up . I can relate to to this poem a lot because my dad is really overprotected as well.

on Dec. 21 2011 at 12:03 pm
justin95 BRONZE, Brigdeton, New Jersey
1 article 0 photos 1 comment

i like it.(:

 


on Dec. 20 2011 at 7:34 am
trainboy PLATINUM, Washington, Virginia
40 articles 1 photo 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The higher we go, the better we shall hear the voice of Christ." Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati
"You may be what ever You resolve to be." General "Stonewall" Jackson

Really good poem!  I like your descriptions.  Keep writing!

eliana924 GOLD said...
on Dec. 18 2011 at 9:51 pm
eliana924 GOLD, New York, New York
11 articles 0 photos 116 comments
Great poem! So provacative... I especially like the title.

Art_Trash said...
on Dec. 18 2011 at 8:49 pm
Art_Trash, Frankfort, New York
0 articles 2 photos 21 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Say what you think and think what you want. Because the ones who mind don't matter, and the ones who matter, don't mind." ~Dr.Suess
"Every artist was once an amateur."

In a nutshell, an overprotective dad

CJN0808 BRONZE said...
on Dec. 18 2011 at 11:09 am
CJN0808 BRONZE, Katy, Texas
4 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Experience, that most brutal of teachers; but you learn, my God do you learn."


-C.S. Lewis

Great poem! Check out my page and read my poetry, if you like please comment and/ or rate. I would really appreciate it :)

on Dec. 17 2011 at 9:06 pm
rescuetruck607 GOLD, Bellmore, New York
13 articles 28 photos 6 comments
what a great poem keep up the good work!

ALR107 said...
on Dec. 16 2011 at 6:35 pm
ALR107, Boise, Idaho
0 articles 13 photos 28 comments
That is a great poem! Unique title...

on Dec. 16 2011 at 12:11 pm
yourmom08 SILVER, Vernon, New Jersey
8 articles 0 photos 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
"everyone will eventually hurt you, you just have to find the right person worth suffering for"

its nice but i dont get it. whats it about?


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