Winter | Teen Ink

Winter MAG

March 17, 2008
By Kaily Dorfman, Aptos, CA

Walking after school
I am struck by the shape of this branch against the bleak sky
shockingly stark and
gray and unrepentant;
Stabbing upwards
so violently – as some knife into a pillow
a sudden rip, and feathers rain down like cloud.
The moment stretches, taut –
(unexpected eternity on a sunless afternoon)
– snapped
as I smile and remember how to breathe



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This article has 45 comments.


on Oct. 24 2016 at 10:21 am
jamiraaa BRONZE, Burlington , New Jersey
1 article 0 photos 3 comments
BEAUTIFUL , BEAUTIFUL

on Oct. 5 2012 at 1:22 pm
sadesdd DIAMOND, Elma, Iowa
90 articles 0 photos 214 comments
Word choice is amazing.

Ollieanne said...
on Aug. 6 2012 at 1:13 pm
Ollieanne, St. Louis, Missouri
0 articles 0 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world." -Harriet Tubman

Very well written, I absolutely love winter, and this piece captures the feeling of winter beautifully:)

on May. 10 2012 at 2:03 am
Missundrstoodx2, Indianapolis, Indiana
0 articles 11 photos 29 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You never know what it enough until you know what is more than enough."

Your powerfully charged words evoke such strong emotion - a rare talent, great work.

on Mar. 5 2012 at 9:08 am
AgentOrange789 GOLD, Friendswood, Texas
16 articles 0 photos 59 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It's a saying they have, that a man has a false heart in his mouth for the world to see, another in his breast to show to his special friends and his family, and the real one, the true one, the secret one, which is never known to anyone except to himself alone, hidden only God knows where."
-James Clavell, "Shogun"

Wow, I love it! Very interesting and unique. It really captures the feeling of winter in my opinion.

Could you guys read some of my poems? Preferably "A Poem from Planet Mars" and "Upon the Banks of the Nile." Thanks.


Fia-fia BRONZE said...
on Feb. 4 2012 at 10:28 pm
Fia-fia BRONZE, Bethesda, Maryland
4 articles 1 photo 157 comments
very interesting! i don't completely understand but i like it. seems to have almost a double meaning. THank you! :)

on Nov. 10 2011 at 1:15 pm
Natasha1994 SILVER, Arizona City, Arizona
9 articles 0 photos 30 comments
i think you to work on it alittle more but its ok poem to me

on Sep. 23 2011 at 7:45 pm
Smiley1068 SILVER, Capitola, California
5 articles 0 photos 29 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don't let anyone control you

This is great! Could you ceck out my work "Where are you" and "Left to die"? Would love some feed back :]

on Sep. 3 2011 at 9:40 pm
star2brite SILVER, Amherst, New Hampshire
7 articles 0 photos 21 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A bad book is as much of a labor to write as a good one, it comes as sincerely from the author's soul."--Aldous Huxley

Beautifully simple and elegant.

reblep GOLD said...
on May. 16 2011 at 4:02 pm
reblep GOLD, Chester, Connecticut
11 articles 0 photos 30 comments

Favorite Quote:
the sun through my window, warming my skin...

i love how something so little can cause someone to write a poem as great as this. 

Aderes47 GOLD said...
on May. 2 2011 at 6:33 pm
Aderes47 GOLD, Cambridge, Massachusetts
11 articles 0 photos 897 comments

Favorite Quote:
You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have truly lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love.
Henry Drummond

Reminds me of my private moments when I just sit by myself on the bus. 

slichwala1 said...
on Apr. 6 2011 at 12:00 pm
this poems imagery reminds me of the cold gray winters and how people want it to be over

on Apr. 6 2011 at 9:09 am
THIS IS REAL NICE HOPE U MAKE MORE ANYWAYS I LOVE MY BABY OSCAR 4 EVER 8/26/2010

on Apr. 2 2011 at 7:43 am
summermarrie BRONZE, Tobyhanna,pa, Pennsylvania
2 articles 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
live well laugh offten love much.... cry less love alot be happy... if you love something or someone so much let it go if it comes back it was ment to be....

i really like this one love the way you discribed evry thing

on Mar. 22 2011 at 7:22 pm
JJSchneider GOLD, Camas, Washington
10 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I will work harder"-Boxer-Animal Farm

Can you look at my poems? I've spent a lot of time recently writing them but near no one has viewed them besides myself.

Hope Udarbe said...
on Jan. 28 2011 at 4:34 pm
Hope Udarbe, Westminster, Colorado
0 articles 0 photos 25 comments
wow that is the best poem i have ever read

on Jan. 16 2011 at 1:52 am
LoveAndWar GOLD, Encinitas, California
12 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Better to be the witty fool than the foolish wit" -Feste, Shakespeare

perfect. absolutely wonderful. it's so... familiar. I'm sure we've all done it... but you capture it so well. :) nicely done!

Stacey said...
on Dec. 27 2010 at 9:25 am
This piece is really great.

JLET309 said...
on Dec. 13 2010 at 10:39 am
JLET309, Plaquemine, Louisiana
0 articles 0 photos 4 comments
This poem has many detailed words. Everything that was said had a nice detail to describe it. I like how you describe what the branch looked like exactly. I could picture it in my head, and I liked how you described it to something I can relate with. My favorite line is, "As I smile and remember how to breathe."

amirdaron93 said...
on Nov. 11 2010 at 9:32 am
amirdaron93, Waremsville, Ohio
0 articles 0 photos 2 comments
Good Job! I  could really image whaty was going on!


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