darkness starts

October 28, 2011
By gabriella garzon GOLD, Hammoton, New Jersey
gabriella garzon GOLD, Hammoton, New Jersey
16 articles 0 photos 3 comments

I cut myself was being of the pain,
Was deeply upset knowing I was told a lie,
Felt like he used me, even more now because I have fear,

Knew my grandma was dying,
Blamed myself for it all,
Angered easily then, felt like I had black goo growing inside,
Saw my grandma die before it happen,
I never told anyone,
Maybe I was stupid, life seems so good,
What could go wrong,
Lots went wrong that day,

Mom was very ill,
I tried telling her stay home,
Didn’t pay any mind to me,
I went home she was there,
It was happening,
I was taking an epic
My best friend he knew something,
I wanted to cry every day,
I didn’t want to seem weak,
I started cutting to make the black goo come out,
Wanting it to fade away, pain was emotionally, mentally, and now physically,

My feeling behind my eyes,
Deep fear of losing the women, who saved me from my real mom and other stuff,

My best friend always saying if you ever need to talk,
I am here for you,
Even a shoulder to cry on,
But to bad my friend will never know,
I don’t open up to anyone,

It’s good that my friend cares about me and helped me through the darkness,
I didn’t ever want to talk,

She is gone,
I’ll blame myself till I die,
I’ll never forget her ice cold skin against mine,
Still wants me to talk,
Keeps trying to get me to speak,

I am dark,
The black goo is still here,
Do I fear something new is near,
Should I fear it or embrace it,
I know it been it’s been seven months since I’ve lost her,
So I am ready to talk, and let someone know me,
But I am very dark and cold inside

The author's comments:
it's when my mom slash grandmom and a guy i was dating cheated on me

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