Child Soldiers MAG

March 13, 2008
By Courtney Cyr BRONZE, Eaton, Colorado
Courtney Cyr BRONZE, Eaton, Colorado
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Their eyes tell silent stories.
Stories that would shock even the darkest of hearts.
These eyes have seen worse than some could even dream of.
They’ve seen killing and death, and pain and suffering to extents that can be hard to imagine.
Eyes that should be learning how to read are instead being taught how to fight.
Emotionless eyes are being forced to kill in gruesome ways.
Eyes that seem to have run out of tears, because crying never helped.
Their sobs are unheard, their tears are unseen.
Children who are innocent are being ruined by men who see no hope in their government.
Men who are willing to take advantage of an irreplaceable innocence.
The eyes are deep brown.
A brown so deep you could get lost in it.
Eyes that catch attention for their beauty.
They silently tell of innocence lost and of silent tears cried.
These are the eyes of a child soldier.



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This article has 368 comments.


M. said...
on Feb. 20 2015 at 11:49 am
love it. it is so touching. this is the best piece ever

GeorgiaL said...
on Jan. 26 2015 at 8:17 pm
GeorgiaL, Melbourne, Other
0 articles 0 photos 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
'To choose doubt as a philosophy of life is akin to choosing immobility as a means of transport'.
-Yann Martel

Amazing. Writing like this is so important

on Jan. 15 2015 at 1:48 pm
pointlesswriter BRONZE, Ebbw Vale, Other
2 articles 0 photos 1 comment
Wow. Simply remarkable, I am a new user o this website but upon reading this poem I feel compelled to start my own piece right away. This poem really capture the true emotion of these children that others take for granted. Well done.

Ayah said...
on Jan. 6 2015 at 7:28 pm
This was a really deep and strong poem. It reminded me of the children in Palestine and Syria that are lost and alone. It makes me sad because no one is helping them and we are too busy being greedy. We take our blessed life, education, and environment for granted and we should be more thankful that we are not in that position. And those children are real survivors and real soldiers.

on Nov. 17 2014 at 11:16 am
Anyuhhhh BRONZE, Las Vegas, Nevada
4 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
It's hard to beat someone who never gives up

This was a really touching poem, it was amazing. It really makes me sad because we take so much for granted when they want something as little as a toy car when we expect more. I loved this piece because it contained such detail, although I would suggest a little better word choice. This was a deep thinking poem and you have great potential!!

on Sep. 15 2014 at 10:38 pm
TakeAGuessKatara SILVER, Beltsville, Maryland
8 articles 0 photos 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Live for tomorrow, remember today, and smile because you survived yesterday," by Me

I agree completley with, AbigailGilgal

on Sep. 13 2014 at 11:31 am
EmilytheBelleofA. DIAMOND, Athens, Georgia
81 articles 5 photos 1492 comments

Favorite Quote:
To love is to be vulnerable; Triumph is born out of struggle; We notice shadows most when they stand alone in the midst of overwhelming light.

Wow. Your poem hit me. Your poem is really vivid and powerful. You have such a talent and greatness in you, I hope you know that! I'm glad this was published, because you and your poem deserve it! Congrats! Thank you for sharing this!

wilds PLATINUM said...
on Aug. 30 2014 at 6:48 pm
wilds PLATINUM, Newfane, New York
22 articles 0 photos 93 comments

Favorite Quote:
Brave is not being fearless but being able to overcome those fears you have

Most people take things for granted. but the people who think about  other and the more important things rather than when someone is getting a phone or somthing, those people that think about the sad things like in this poem can teach alot of other people. well done

on Jun. 3 2014 at 9:38 pm
AbigailGilgal GOLD, Cloquet, Minnesota
12 articles 0 photos 40 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I write for the same reason I breath- because if I didn't, I would die"
~Isaac Asimov

"There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at the typewriter and bleed."
~ Ernest Hemingway

I for real just started crying. This is an amazing piece. Guys, lets do something about this. I know I will definatly remember to pray for these childen. Thank you so much for this touching poem.

on Apr. 23 2014 at 9:16 pm
White-Rabbit SILVER, Thief River Falls, Minnesota
7 articles 1 photo 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I can't go back to yesterday because I was a different person then." Lewis Carroll

I thought this was an extremely beautiful & emotional piece. Thank you for sharing a rare perspective to look through.

on Feb. 12 2014 at 11:14 pm
francheskas SILVER, San Diego, California
6 articles 1 photo 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing." -Benjamin Franklin

Really meaningful and  true. Although, I have to admit, I'm the type of person who enjoys metaphors. I suggest describing the pain of the children as something more. Also, describe more about what is going on in their heads. Good job though !

on Feb. 12 2014 at 12:14 pm
Bryanna252Munoz, Peoria, Arizona
0 articles 0 photos 2 comments
Affection**

on Feb. 12 2014 at 12:13 pm
Bryanna252Munoz, Peoria, Arizona
0 articles 0 photos 2 comments
Deffidently one of my favorites. The author did an amazing job deffining the effection for this peice of poetry.

Terry_A BRONZE said...
on Oct. 30 2013 at 12:47 pm
Terry_A BRONZE, Las Vegas, Nevada
4 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
"who you choose to be around you, let's you know who you are."

This poem made me realize the reality going on in some parts of the world. I feel like making a difference now. Anyways, good poem!

on Sep. 15 2013 at 3:00 pm
_Anomaly_ BRONZE, Waterloo, Other
1 article 9 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
Edward Rochester>Edward Cullen

This is the best critique ever.

MariaNMai said...
on Sep. 11 2013 at 10:00 am
MariaNMai, Reykjavík, Other
0 articles 0 photos 4 comments
I read the first line and I got goose bumps. This poem tells the ugly truth of this world. How some kids have to suffer all the time. It made me think how ridiculous some of us can sometimes be, we complain about our homework and some even because they didn’t get the newest Iphone. It’s sad to think that what this poem tells is true but not from a book or a movie. Those innocent kids have had to face more horrible things than I will probably have to face my entire life.  It made me think how good my life is.                                                           The poem is well written and really affected me.  

on Jun. 10 2013 at 11:46 pm
chocolatina PLATINUM, Northbrook, Illinois
34 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers."

Wow...all this time we write about how we feel, our experiences, and our memories. But what a daring step to consider another viewpoint, especially one like this. Well done!

Ghoshy said...
on Dec. 25 2012 at 4:53 pm
Ghoshy, Allentown, Pennsylvania
0 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
Success is no accident. It is hard work, perseverance, learning, studying, sacrifice, and most of all, love of what you are doing or learning to do.
-Pele

I think this poem would be better as a short story. However, the descriptions really created a sad picture in my mind.

on Oct. 19 2012 at 12:41 pm
Origami_Giraffe, Goose Creek, South Carolina
0 articles 0 photos 6 comments
  I'm sorry to say this, but this really does not sound like a poem. It sounds like a paragraph you decided to space out and attempt to pass as free verse. One of the main points of poetry is that it's a way to treat language like a toy rather than a tool. This is the format where you're allowed to ignore the normal rules of writing, but not only do you not bother to get creative with the writing, you treat the rules like they're still necessary. Each 1-3 lines is a complete thought, the first letter is always capitalized, there's always a period at the end. It's just really boring, and doesn't seem like you put too much thought in the layout.   As for the words themselves, they're not that great either. Out of 26 lines, 9 start with some form of their or the. 3 starts with eyes, though I would have guessed more with the amount of times you use that word throughout the course of the poem (their eyes, these eyes, etc.). Using the same word so often makes it seems like you have a very limited vocabulary, and can be somewhat obnoxious to people who tend to notice these kinds of things.   I think some of these problems could be improved just by switching to a different perspective. Right now you’re taking the perspective of an outsider, a sympathetic one, mind you, but still someone who has no attachment to that situation aside from sympathy. Because of this, you’re stuck trying to tell us why we should care, over-emphasizing the traits you think will lead to the biggest emotional response: focusing on their eyes (Eyes that catch attention for their beauty.) or their helplessness (They silently tell of innocence lost and of silent tears cried.) This isn’t necessarily a wrong approach, but it is a very ineffectual one. If you want to make your audience feel for something, you should show them why they should. Instead of taking the view of someone unconnected, be someone involved. Start your poem from the eyes of a child soldier, or a soldier on the other side, or a mother fearing that her children will be taken away from here. Make it personal, instead of just sad. If you do that, you might find that a better writing style and tone might happen naturally. Also, as a small nitpick, the sentence “Children who are innocent are being ruined by men who see no hope in their government.” makes it sound as though the simple act of having no faith in your government hurts children, which isn’t true. Involving children in something they have no business being involved in hurts children. 

on Oct. 5 2012 at 1:26 pm
sadesdd DIAMOND, Elma, Iowa
90 articles 0 photos 214 comments
The subject of this poem is something I've thought long on. The author did such an amazing job capturing the true feeling of losing child innocence because of people that don't care.




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