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Murder

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Woman found dead,
Body ripped apart.
Heart cut from chest
And burned black in the fireplace.

You went calmly to our bedroom,
Cleaned the knife,
Washed your hands.

I didn’t think you were a killer.



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This article has 23 comments. Post your own!

shapeshifter56 said...
Dec. 6, 2011 at 7:14 pm:
Holy Cow! Your work is amazing!
 
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lrshap said...
Nov. 14, 2011 at 3:25 pm:

no prob

i am your biggest fan

 
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clumsyteardropper said...
Nov. 13, 2011 at 1:00 pm:
it's short but says so much... there is a lot of power in so few words ;)  keep this great writing up, girl!
i only have one article posted (i know, lame :P), but I've submitted two more... I'm just waiting for the editors to get back to me.  pretty please check out "Iron Box"!  I'd really appricate it ;)
 
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lrshap said...
Nov. 13, 2011 at 11:02 am:
i've read all your work, you are a GENIUS! :)
 
GirlWhoWrote replied...
Nov. 13, 2011 at 12:59 pm :
thanks! :)
 
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Jacy-Lee said...
Nov. 9, 2011 at 3:14 pm:
good job. the simplicity of the majority of the poem really amped up the last line.
 
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Dragonfly_Girl said...
Nov. 7, 2011 at 7:15 pm:
I love this! It's short and written simply, but it conveys so much! That is very difficult to do, you are talented! If you have a chance, I would love if you could check out my work. Thank you!
 
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FULLSTOP said...
Nov. 7, 2011 at 3:23 am:
well done, really good poem. i think it leaves the reader completely aware of what has happened. please can you look at my poem, catflap, as my work usually goes unnoticed
 
GirlWhoWrote replied...
Nov. 7, 2011 at 7:05 pm :
Thanks! I read your poem and i loved it so thank you, I am honored that you like mine :) Read my other work please!
 
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Jane3 said...
Oct. 31, 2011 at 2:58 pm:
Oh, that makes sense, however I feel like that's abusing the commenting. I guess if you can do it subtlety! Haha! Thanks!
 
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Jane3 said...
Oct. 26, 2011 at 8:57 pm:
Hi again...still love your work: ) How did you get so many random people to comment?  My work always goes unnoticed
 
greg9381 replied...
Oct. 30, 2011 at 9:47 pm :

I like this too :D

She got people to comment by commenting on other people's poems and asking for them to check out her work.

 
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Lexie96 said...
Oct. 25, 2011 at 6:32 pm:
This is interesting, at first I wasn't sure what to say about it, but now going back and reading it again I am struck by the originality of it. I wonder, though, is there a secret message hidden in here? I kind of thought that the heart might stand for love and the death for the loss of it... maybe I'm looking to far into things. Check out my poem if you get the chance? Please
 
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TotheSea said...
Oct. 23, 2011 at 11:37 am:
Wow!  This is like a murder mystery in 8 lines!  The last line changes the whole perspective.  Great job!
 
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JamesODalaigh This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 23, 2011 at 7:55 am:
i really enjoyed this, it's totally unique and in the good way, keep it up!
 
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glimmer said...
Oct. 18, 2011 at 9:27 pm:

Good job!

When I first started reading, I wasn't sure what I was going to think of it, but then the ending changed the whole thing!

It was short and sweet, which is always nice. It didn't need to be long to get the point across!

Keep writing!!

P.S. Comment on my stuff if you get a chance. Thanks!

 
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iamInvisible said...
Oct. 18, 2011 at 9:18 pm:
creative writing. good job, keep it up! 
 
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Duckie430This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 18, 2011 at 4:00 pm:
Hey, congrats on getting your poem on this site, loved the imagery & suspense. Maybe you can check out some of my work? I'm published anonymously so just advance search for Riverside, RI-I've written over 100 poems, about 80 on this site, one in the magazine, one editor's choice but I'm always looking for more comments & constructive critcism. :) I think you have some talent here so I'd be pleased to hear some feedback.
 
GirlWhoWrote replied...
Oct. 18, 2011 at 7:52 pm :
Hi, thanks for your comment! :) I'll loo at your work! I also have a poem called "Thief", which is the next article from here. Look at that! :)
 
Duckie430This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Oct. 27, 2011 at 11:53 am :
thank you!
 
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