Life Promises

September 24, 2011
By Evellen GOLD, Cheyenne, Wyoming
Evellen GOLD, Cheyenne, Wyoming
10 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end."
- Scott Adams


A rainbow of fish skirt
the bottom, coral lines
the edges, sea weed
dances with the currents.

Dive into the crystal
clear pool to find
you can't see the bottom
you turn looking
for the light of
the surfs but
it's no longer there.

Black walls
of water presses
themselves upon you,
your head throbs
with no air to
relive it, and lights
dance before your eyes.

Then the water
breaks, and you
swim to shore
not daring to
dip into the
promising pool
again.


The author's comments:
i was sitting in health one day and that was all it took to write this piece

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This article has 1 comment.


on Dec. 10 2011 at 5:23 pm
Plain-Jane ELITE, Grandview, Missouri
108 articles 2 photos 76 comments

Favorite Quote:
"And the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their Shepherd. He will guide them to springs of living water; and God will wipe away every tear from their eyes." Revelation 7:17

*relieve

the first verse is great, it was just broken up into lines weirdly. try:

"a rainbow of fish skirt the bottom,

coral lines the edges,

sea weed dances with the currents."

and then in the second verse: "dive into the crysetal pool to find..." find what? you didnt finish that thought.

Lovely poem! I actually held my breath when it came to the part about no air!



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