Life Promises

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A rainbow of fish skirt
the bottom, coral lines
the edges, sea weed
dances with the currents.

Dive into the crystal
clear pool to find
you can't see the bottom
you turn looking
for the light of
the surfs but
it's no longer there.

Black walls
of water presses
themselves upon you,
your head throbs
with no air to
relive it, and lights
dance before your eyes.

Then the water
breaks, and you
swim to shore
not daring to
dip into the
promising pool
again.





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MsAnonymous This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 10, 2011 at 5:23 pm

*relieve

the first verse is great, it was just broken up into lines weirdly. try:

"a rainbow of fish skirt the bottom,

coral lines the edges,

sea weed dances with the currents."

and then in the second verse: "dive into the crysetal pool to find..." find what? you didnt finish that thought.

Lovely poem! I actually held my breath when it came to the part about no air!

 
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