Perfectly

September 26, 2011
By andromeda13 SILVER, Barrie, Other
andromeda13 SILVER, Barrie, Other
8 articles 0 photos 174 comments

Her words linger in the air
Lined with red lipstick
Shards of a broken mirror
Pieces of herself
Reflecting the untold truth
No one will listen
No one knows
How much she wishes
Maybe things were different
She is the infamous head cheerleader
Blonde hair
In perfect pigtails
Blue eyes
Have seen to many nasty words
A living stereotype
A puppet
Controlled
By the unbreakable strings
Of conformity
A mask
To play the part
Perfectly
Unaware
No one dares forget her
Yet she fades
Easily into the back round
Every day surrounded by friends
Only to realize
She is alone
Her tears
Stain her flawless skin with black streaks
From the eyeliner she will still put on
Every morning
She will play the part
Perfectly.



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This article has 7 comments.


butterfly123 said...
on Jun. 19 2012 at 2:52 am
butterfly123, Banglore, Other
0 articles 0 photos 408 comments
hey! very well written. i really like the language and phrasing. i think you should work on your punctuation as they help the reader to read as well as interpret the poem. but on the whole : great work and keep writing :D

on Oct. 31 2011 at 8:56 pm
milforce SILVER, Bloomington, Illinois
9 articles 0 photos 135 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Those who have the ability to act, have the responsibility to act."

I really like this. It's cool how you looked at this girl kind of critically and you have nice word choice. You also have some really cool phrases in there such as "controlled by unbreakable strings". Great job!

on Oct. 23 2011 at 9:28 pm
DoctorWhosGirl, Barrie, Hawaii
0 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
"How many Rs?" "6"

i love this poem its amazing

on Oct. 6 2011 at 7:22 pm
sunny.all.day. GOLD, Potomac, Maryland
15 articles 0 photos 69 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you."
— A.A. Milne (Winnie-the-Pooh)
"writing is a struggle against silence" carlos fuentos
You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."

I agree with the others, the flow is a bit choppy at parts, such as "a puppet/ controlled", also, when you wrote " perfect pigtails" it kind of changed the tone a bit for me, because personally, I think the word pigtails is a bit.. immature? atleast for this piece. 

 

Could you please check my poem 21st Century or Tower of Nothing? thanks :)


on Oct. 5 2011 at 4:54 pm
Kvothe28 SILVER, Temecula, California
5 articles 0 photos 78 comments

Favorite Quote:
Excuse me while I prepare my impromptu remarks. -Winston Churchill

Tell it like it is, not how it was. -Jonathan

Break it down like a fine English double-gun. -R. Bitoni

I thought this was pretty deep. The people who you think hold it together the best have problems too. I read your thread, if you have time, would you please read He Went Out With His Boots On (Ch.1) it's posted anonymously. Thank you

on Oct. 5 2011 at 3:05 pm
andromeda13 SILVER, Barrie, Other
8 articles 0 photos 174 comments
Thanks! This is my first poem I've written, but I will prob write more. 

on Oct. 5 2011 at 2:57 pm
TheGirlWhoDancesWithSnowflakes SILVER, Sunnyvale, Texas
8 articles 0 photos 99 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together."

Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another,
"What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
- C. S. Lewis

"A living stereotype, a puppet controlled by the unbreakable strings of conformity."

 

That was my favorite part. I wil admit, I find it hard to read your poem because of the lack of punctuations and the choppy poem structure, but the poem itself is wonderful. 4/5! :D





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