Theme for English B

September 28, 2011
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I don't understand how one small paper can fully describe me.
How am I supposed to be able to contain all of the complexity of who I am into a few small stanzas?
You can't capture a person on paper.
It's difficult enough to capture them on film.
I believe in the power of words but I don't think they can define you and describe you entirely.
True visuals are stronger than mere mental images.
You can read something and picture it the way you want to in your mind but what if that's not right?
But then I guess you have to evaluate whether or not you really care what others perceive to be you.
So, here "I" am.
I constantly evaluate the true meaning of someone's words.
I study habits and behaviors like I'm a professional analyst, and I'd probably be good at that.
I don't fit into a niche.
I flit from one hobby to another, never truly sticking with anything. Except writing.
I'll willingly experience something that's sure to be dreadful just to study and pick apart the proceedings.
It is alarming how lazy I can be if allowed to sit around and do nothing.
Nearly everything, in my eyes, is beyond overrated. I laugh and make fun and shake my head. People amaze me.
I've been known to say
"I hate people."
Not exactly a cheerful or optimistic phrase, but I know that I don't really hate people.
I just hate what they think they have to resort to doing.
I am bored by everything.
Maybe that's arrogance talking, maybe it's hormones. And maybe it's just me.
I love my town. And I absolutely hate it.
I love my high school, I love the books that I read, I love the shows that I watch, I love the people that I interact with.
And at the same time I can't stand them, but in the most lovely way.
It's hard for me to not see beauty in this life
even if it is a little twisted.
Apparently the animal I'm most like is a monkey.
Disappointing on many levels, I have to take a step back and make a frame around the idea with my fingers.
"Monkeys just swing around and eat bananas and watch things go by. And they just have fun. If they want to have fun, they do. That's why you remind me of a monkey."
Well I guess that's okay. Even though I compared her to a way cooler animal. But whatever, life goes on.
I have several different novels written in my mind, along with several films. When I'll breathe physical life to them, I'm not so sure. But when I do start to exhale that life, to pour all of myself into something else, I'm sure it'll be great.
This is rather long, but what did you expect to happen when you told us to "let that page come out of you"?
There's a lot in me, and this is hardly a preview.
And the assignment was to format this the way Langston Hughes did, but I'm not Langston Hughes, so how can I let the page come out of me if I'm structuring it off the page of another?
But this did come out of me, and that's what you asked for.
So, to format this the way Mr. Hughes did, I guess I ought to end my theme as he did.
"This is my page for English B."





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