If You Really Knew Me

If you really knew me,
You would know my dad is a recovering alcoholic and drug attic;


You would know I don’t really fit in with people unless I act to fit the part.

If you really knew me,
You would know I am extremely self conscious and insecure with everything about me;


You would know I don’t want your sympathy.

If you really knew me,
You would know I’m on anti-depressants from the scars on my arms;


You would know even with my meds, things still hit me hard and I still get my urges.

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If you really knew me,
You would know that I’m scared sh*tless about high school;


You would know I have no idea how I’m suppose to survive the first day without my friends.

If you really knew me,
You would know that I sometimes cry myself to sleep at night because my dad is no longer sober;


You would know I pray every night, even though I’m not sure if I believe in my dad or Him.

If you really knew me,
You would know I can go cry in a room and walk out, five minutes later, with a smile on my face and be ‘fine’;


You would know my favorite quote is: “When she cries the make-up runs from her eyes and it spills the truth about how she feels inside”.

If you really knew me,
You would know I can be happy one second and be breaking down the next;


You would know I love my friends and family more than they know.

If you really knew me,
You would know I try my hardest to be happy and good for my family and friends;


And you would know, sometimes that’s just not good enough.





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