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Captured By Reflections

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Nameless: each one hopeless. Coldly whispering: “To tall, to short. To fat, to skinny. To pale, to flushed.” So steady yet so rushed. Each the same, but still so different. Alone, yet you know judging eyes are watching, pressuring. Disappointed in themselves, disgusting. Rethinking their status, rethinking themselves. Soul wrenching. They try to escape, but they can’t. Surrounded. Trapped. In a house of mirrors.



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akbrgurl said...
Nov. 19, 2011 at 9:36 pm:
Very Deep, I love it :)
 
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SanamSheriff said...
Oct. 31, 2011 at 12:31 pm:
really beautifully written. the concept in itself is so unique. well done. one suggestion would be to use 'too' instead of 'to' because that's grammatically incorrect. but i still love it. could you check out my work, tell me what you think and rate? id really appreciate it
 
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xximjustmexxThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Sept. 1, 2011 at 9:57 pm:
amazing 5/5
 
livelovesmile replied...
Sept. 6, 2011 at 8:49 pm :
thank you!(:
 
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elfishy said...
Sept. 1, 2011 at 4:19 pm:
it was really deep :) it wasnt very long but it said a lot.
 
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dontwantologin... said...
Aug. 31, 2011 at 8:48 pm:
i think this would be a  lot better if you put this in the free verse style, and not sentences. very good, tho! :)
 
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jojo said...
Aug. 31, 2011 at 5:34 pm:
It's really nice!!!
 
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BeLoveTodayThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 30, 2011 at 8:12 am:
I really like that you chose to format this piece in a prose poem, because the message is conveyed more directly and vividly. Sometimes, when we try to use a rhyme scheme to express a certain idea, the words just sound forced and don't flow. Free verse, especially prose poems are great because you can use sound techniques like internal rhyme (Too pale, too flushed. So steady, yet so rushed) and others to generate emotions in the reader WITHOUT following a specific pattern. Great j... (more »)
 
livelovesmile replied...
Aug. 30, 2011 at 2:17 pm :

Thank you so much I really appreciate the feedback!

 

 
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InTheSpiritOfRain said...
Aug. 29, 2011 at 8:22 pm:
I agree. We can't please everybody.
 
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