Rage.
Spreading, Scalding, Seeping, Blinding.
A wildfire that burns within my veins.
My fists clench, as if this will cease the roaring in my ears.
The war drums pounding in my chest.
The screaming in my mind.
This body,
is not my own.
It acts out, unbeckoned, uncalled for.
I scream,
shattering the fragile silence around me
into shards of glass.
Tears.
Salty as blood, drip slowly,
Oh! So slowly down my cheeks.
The shame.
What did they do to deserve this?
Why do I do this to them?
Pain.
Red marks on my leg.
Razors blades on my back.
Make it stop, Make it stop!
Why do I do this to myself?
Blood.
Salty, metallic.
Red as my rage.
Hot as my fury.
It all stops.
Frozen.
Breath, fluttering in and out.
Over my bitten lips.
Fingernail marks.
Salt in my mouth.
A soft whisper of the past.
Balance regained,
breath chased down and captured.
The night clears to day.
I can see too clearly my battered body.
No knock on the door.
Alone.
Shadows within me flutter restlessly.
Longing for shelter.
For warm arms to hold me.
But nothing comes.
Shivers stumble down my spine.
The darkness is blinding.
The silence is deafening.
The question is devastating
as it runs frantic laps in my mind.
Why?