sometimes i wish i could step outside my crowded mind
and see myself through someone else’s eyes
but i’m so blind it is as if my own eyes have been sealed shut
and replaced by her and her ideals
she pushes my heart closed and says it’s for the better
she seals my lips shut and when they open she forces everything out
she says she loves me and i adore her
but when i don’t listen to her she is furious
she calls me awful names and i agree with her
but i try not to obey her anymore
sometimes i wish i could step inside a hospital and curl up
in one of those comfy gowns with needles under my skin
and sleep for days and weeks and months and years
and watch people worry over my and listen to their honest fears
and smile silently but with my eyes glued shut and my hands trembling
i wish I could be stronger than this but i am weak
i simply want to vanish without ever really leaving
i just want to see things from the outside
and creep between your ears so that i may never leave your thoughts
and i will never be forgotten again