Things have changed, sooner than expected but I won't let these things change me, these things do frighten me and worry me but I will be strong I will not let my decision be swayed. People will hate me for my choice but people will hate me when they find out what has happened. I hope for those that understand and those that are still willing to accept me even after the choices I've made, if there is nobody who will then I will not mind being alone. It's nice to feel other peoples warmth but it's just as important to feel the chill of loneliness. I can't be what is expected of me, not this soon anyway, I'll stay strong but it doesn't mean I won't show my weakness. I'll enjoy how things will unfold and yet I'll also hate it, just because I don't smile doesn't mean I'm displeased it just means I'm wondering how to overcome this challenge. Do not worry for I enjoy my time with you all so I would hate to cut it short, a lot of things are going to change I just hope my decisions still have the favor of someone in the end, so I won't be completely alone when the dust settles.
August 7, 2011