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between sins

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between sins
I am

the white
skeleton of a home

before the walls
are erected; while I'm

waiting I
kiss translucent and

weightless
as plastic wrap;

the pillow is
under my head

before between
my legs; between sins I am

zero breath;
not even the blue

of the horizon, but
whatever color nothing

is
at midnight; I am

between sins a star,
combing waves for their

single sound;
between sins
I am

music decomposing
to the form of purity, a

point

.



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Blue4This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 13, 2011 at 9:50 am:
Good job, your poem was unique and ambiguous. There were some lines that were simply golden:) A litttle choppy, though. Can you please read some of my work, rate and comment? I'd appreciate it. (Esp. the two, or three poems, if the third one is online already)
 
claudiathewho This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 13, 2011 at 10:52 am :
Thank you! Originally the poem had line spacing in it, but Teen Ink made everything left margin. I'll definitely read some of your work when I get the chance. (Which actually means that I'll read it when I stop procrastinating on reading it.) 
 
Blue4This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Aug. 13, 2011 at 12:17 pm :
Okay :) Isn't it such a nuisance when TeenInk messes up formatting?
 
claudiathewho This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 13, 2011 at 12:28 pm :
It really is! I guess I should send my specially formatted poems in by snail mail, so the editors can see what the poem is supposed to look like.
 
Blue4This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Aug. 13, 2011 at 1:02 pm :
Haha! Good idea. Luckily, the worst that I suffered was a whole blob of words instead of a real story with paragraphs. MUCH worse when this happens with poems.
 
claudiathewho This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 13, 2011 at 2:00 pm :
I once submitted a poem with a lot of complicated spacing. The formatting got messed up so much that no one would've been able to understand it, so I took it off the site. It was horrendous, haha.
 
Blue4This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Aug. 13, 2011 at 3:16 pm :
poor you! ps. are you done procrastinating?:) sorry, don't mean to pester you...
 
claudiathewho This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 13, 2011 at 3:54 pm :
Haha, yep, I commented on one of your stories. :)
 
Blue4This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Aug. 13, 2011 at 4:43 pm :
Thank you, I appreciate it. Thanks for catching that redundant phrase... funny how many people looked at the story before you, and you're the first who noticed. :)
 
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