Her only love

June 28, 2011
By dancer11srubin GOLD, Long Grove, Illinois
dancer11srubin GOLD, Long Grove, Illinois
12 articles 0 photos 12 comments


“I love you”

he whispered barely audible through his lips.

The girl smiled,

then laughed,

laughed so hard she collasped tp the ground hyserical.

The boy didn’t understand what was so funny about those three words to her.

Whenever he got the guts to say it, all she would do was laugh.

He finally asked her,

“what’s so funny about that? I love you”

Once again she pursed her lips fighting back the giggles that she held back.

He finally forgot about it, and moved on from the subject.

Months later, they broke up.

time carried on and he tried to forget about her.

One night the boy could not fall asleep,

tossing and turning his thoughts exploded.

And then he reminised the times he shared with her

a knot churned his stomach and he still felt sick with misery.

He really did love her, and all she could do was laugh?

3:30 am, still awake he gets the nerve to call her knowing she’d be up.

The girl reading her favorite novel, hears her phone ring.

Suprised by the caller I.D,

she questions whether or not to answer it.

“Hello” She whispers.

“I love you” he says.


She softly giggles.

“I Say I love you and all you can do is say nothing!”

The boy finally giving up hope hangs up the phone.

Tears tumbled down her cheeks,

and finally she starts to laugh again, so hard she can barely breathe.

He had a met a girl,

different from the others.

his friends and classmates were suprised that he stay commited for so long.

he never felt this way about anyone.

Whenever he was not with her, he was thinking about her.

The girl was different however, which was of course why he loved her so much.

Some days she wouldn’t text him back,

other days she would completely ignore him.

He hated that part of her, and never understood it.

“I love you” he would constantly tell her.

And all she would do was laugh,

and that made the boy so embrassed and desperate,

two emotions he rarely felt.

When she dumped him, he couldn’t leave his bed for weeks.

His world was now grey, with no feelings.

Because with feelings, come’s bitterness and that’s the last thing he wanted to feel about her.

The girl was completely suprised to see that the boy was calling her though they’ve been broken up for months.

She answered the phone.

“I love you” the boy surrendered the words lock inside his chest.

and she laughed,

he hung up the phone so bitter and so angry he punched a whole in the wall.

A week later he had saw a headline in his local newspaper.

“Girl found dead in her room, with a gun in her hand"

He who changes
A second did not pass where the boy didn’t think about her.

Though he only blamed himself for her suicide.

Her death changed him forever.

He was no longer the boy who was always hitting on a girl,

the boy surrounded by all his jock friends,

the boy who never stopped smiling.


Now he was the boy who constantly had headphones in his ears,

his eyes in a glaze,

and isolated presence like a zombie.

Yes, the boy now was a zombie.

And no one dared tried to him ask him how he was.. though they learned their lesson after he punched someone that last tried asking him.

His glazed eyes were permanet ever since her death, only until one day lying on his bed was a letter adressed to his name.

On the return address was blank.

He tore it open,

And when he saw the slanted handwriting, his heart fell through his stomach and he lost his breath.

It was a note from her.

As you know I killed myself, and knowing you your probably blaming this all on yourself. Don’t. For the only cure to my depression was this permanet solituion I had to take action, for my depression was uncureable otherwise. You were the only boy that made my heart skip a beat, my head feel like a whirl, and my heart ache with desire. My feelings were so strong for you it scared me. I loved you. And I laughed because, i knew you were lying when you would tell me that you loved me. Because I’m not a girl who guys fall in love with. Merely the depressed weird girl everyone fears being next to. So of course my reaction to those words were so freightened and suprise the only thing that came through my lips were laughter. And of course, you took it the wrong way like you always do… You took it as denial and rejection. However, that was least bit accurate, and you were completely wrong like always. And maybe that’s another part of my list to why I loved you so much. For all your flaws, your perfection, everything. This letter was purposely mailed out 6 months after my death, though you could probably understand my reasoning. You need to move on. I’m not the girl your meant to fall in love with. Merely, I was meant to teach you a lesson, that you should have learned by this point. My death was not your fault, never forget that. You will always be my first and only love.

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