Like a New Yorker

New Yorkers are scary,

Intimidating,

Just plain weird.
They do everything so different

From us Texans.

I can walk like a New Yorker:

Quickly,

Head tucked low,

Cell phone to the ear,
Disregarin’ the traffic.

I can tawk like a New Yawka:

Accentin’ and repetin’.


I can even drink “soder” cans like a New Yorker:

Through a straw!

I can drive like a New Yorker (if I was old enough):

Move people, move: I’m comin’ through!
and

Whadya mean “I can’t run the reds”?

I can eat pizza like a New Yorker:

Fold it in half,

Drippin’ grease down my shirt.

I can dress like a New Yorker:

Briefcase—Check!

Tie—Check!

Pressed suit—Check!

Stony face—CHECK!

But ya know what I can’t do?

Be a New Yorker.
‘Cause I’m a Texan through and through.