A Roller-coaster Downhill

August 1, 2011
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Is there a cure out there?

I’m drowning in my very own melancholy.
Fearing my decadence ,
A fall to nothingness.
I wish I could hold up and stop things from going the wrong way
But it’s not happening
And that’s what I fear.

I’ve created my very own worries.
I tell myself I must be nothing but the best
But then I look at the reflection of the complete me
My work, my deeds, my thoughts, myself…
And I’m far from the rest.

Where do I stand in this world?
What will be my outcome?
Do I have the strength to push my feet into the ground and tilt my chin to the sky?

One moment I feel strong
A certain kind of comfort that keeps my smile afloat.
Then in a snap of the moment
I’m drowning in this uneasiness
I’m unable to fulfill my goals

A surge of anger scrapes the surface of my skin and tries to pierce the center of my body…
A spear poisoned with my very own inferior self -esteem

I tell myself…
Jump back on to the track of fulfillment.
But, there are people everywhere
Running and aiming
They elbow me and I slip off powerlessly.

What do I do now?
Wait till the people get fewer or keep on moving to nowhere?


In the end…
Nothing but sweet success can replace the edifice of hopelessness that lies within me.

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