Bedraggled

There is a smallness
Inside of me
Pressed into a bundle of yarn
Stuffed at the bottom of my lungs
Sometimes the smallness claws its way
Inexorably up the chattering bones of my ribcage
Bubbling, seething in the twilight
Stretching and yawning
Filling my mouth and spilling between
The cracks in my teeth
Constricting my tongue in a hurricane
A hurricane of hopelessness I am bound
When I bury my face in the pillows
Listen to the stuttering cadence of my heartbeat
Stormy seas float on the edges of my vision
Drown my mind in an endless ocean
I breathe water
I drown
Sinking into glowing darkness

But before my body grows cold I suppress
My smallness fight my way
Back up to the surface
Wreathed in brittle smiles
And sharp fragmented laughter
My torment tickling in the shadows of my lashes
Darkening the hollow of my throat
When I glance at you, lips parted
Answer me
I beg of you
Tell me that you, too
Drown