deep inside

July 3, 2011
to forget the day
to forget the blade
to forget the scars that will never go away
that look so pale in comparison to my skin that has yet to bleed
all those times i let you down
all those times you felt anything but proud
couldn't stand up couldn't face my peers
after everything you taught me over the years
its not your fault it never was
just one of those things that happened just because
i apologize for everything, all that Ive done
but i don't regret any of it not a one
i learned my lesson, learned from my mistake
but when i look deep inside all i feel is hate
so ill just imitate what Ive always done
but with every cut i make and every breath i take
it all seems so shallow, but the scars it leaves cut me deep and leave me feeling hallow
that empty place that "safe" place where i can hide away
why do i do it? i don't know, maybe its the power knowing thats its the one thing i can control.

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