Roof~

July 12, 2011
By brittossa GOLD, Claremont, California
brittossa GOLD, Claremont, California
16 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desire can be won. It exists. It is real. It is possible. It is yours.


Thoughts tangled, I
can’t think straight.
My lungs aren’t co-operating and I
can’t breathe right.
Caught in the midst of overwhelming emotion, I
can’t win.
My mind is wrapped around visions of you, and my stomach
can’t help but dance with butterflies.
The dreams I dream of you
can’t be compared to the real you.
I step out my window to calm my heart and stomach from something I
can’t control.
I breathe deeply, savoring the cold, sweet air that you
can’t find indoors.
Once I lay out my towel, I myself lie down, enjoying a view that a computer screen
can’t quite reproduce.
I stare at the sky, watching the stars in the brisk air that you
can’t fully enjoy without a cozy sweatshirt.
I sing love songs, something I
can’t do anywhere else because I fear I don’t sing well.

Then, I sit.

I sit, and I ponder.
I ponder
who might send me a message, and if it will be you.
I ponder
what might happen the next day.
I ponder
when I will have enough courage to ask you what’s been on my mind.
I ponder
why you haven’t asked me yet, or if that’s just because we haven’t been alone.
I ponder
where I’ll first get to feel your soft lips press against mine.
I ponder
how exactly I plan on approaching you when I do manage to garner my courage.

And as I ponder,
my mind slowly unclouds.

My stresses begin to alleviate.


My heartbeat slows.



My mind clears.




My body begins to feel cold.
Retreating back through the window, I feel refreshed, invigorated. But still, I
can’t help but wonder what you’re up to.
Yearning to write another poem, I
can’t write about you, out of fear you’ll think I’m mental.
I decide to instead write about my sanctuary – my roof. If I write about that, I
can’t end up accidentally writing about you instead.


Can I?


The author's comments:
I apologize if the spacing's off. It looks much better in Microsoft Word

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This article has 6 comments.


on Jul. 16 2011 at 3:37 pm
K.H.D. PLATINUM, Fort Wayne, Indiana
27 articles 19 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
"KID YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!

So...
be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
or Mordecai Ali Van Alenn O'Shea
you're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So... get on your way!" - Dr. Seuss, "Oh! The Places You'll Go"

GREAT poem, lovely choice of words.
The imagery is amazing; I can picture it as if I'm sitting right there with you.
You've an amazing talent, keep writing. (:

kk10TM GOLD said...
on Jul. 15 2011 at 2:00 pm
kk10TM GOLD, Burlington, Kentucky
18 articles 0 photos 4 comments
Very well written! My favorite line was "my stomach can’t help but dance with butterflies." This is one of the better poems I've read on here! =] 

on Jul. 15 2011 at 1:12 pm
silent_reader BRONZE, Columbia, Maryland
1 article 0 photos 41 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I cannot live without books." - Thomas Jefferson

great poem! it was really well written

on Jul. 15 2011 at 3:10 am
dancer11srubin GOLD, Long Grove, Illinois
12 articles 0 photos 12 comments
this poem is gorgeous. the ending is my favorite part.

jaygonz BRONZE said...
on Jul. 14 2011 at 4:55 pm
jaygonz BRONZE, Hialeah Gardens, Florida
4 articles 1 photo 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don't make someone a priority, when they only make you an option.

omg i loved this, the ending especially because you did exactly that <3 i loved it, its unique. btw, if you can help, can you check my new poem @Free Me from Myself"? i need an opinion :) 

on Jul. 14 2011 at 10:58 am
WritingGirlKyla14 PLATINUM, West Valley, Utah
24 articles 0 photos 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
10.
I am a princess, all girls are. Even if they live in tiny old attics. Even if they dress in rags, even if they aren't pretty or smart or young. They're still princesses, all of us." -Frances Hodgeson Burnett, A Little Princess
or
1.
Live in the present, remember the past and fear not the future, for it doesn't exist and never shall. There is only now." _Christopher Paolini, Eldest

So sad but really beautiful. I love it. I like the ending how you wanna write a poem about your sanctuary so that you won't write about the person but you kinda do anyway.

So cool.

The spacing is cool too.

~K   : )



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