Nothing | Teen Ink

Nothing

July 8, 2011
By ohheyyyelli SILVER, Woonsocket, Rhode Island
ohheyyyelli SILVER, Woonsocket, Rhode Island
5 articles 3 photos 178 comments

Each day, you’re wearing away
Your flesh and your fat; your mind and your soul
Pound by pound it rips away pigments of who you are
Days spent counting calories and fighting them off
Until you are only a body, nothing to suggest there is
A person cradled inside of those frail bones
And what person starves them self of all happiness
in search of happiness?
You wake up, and repeat the actions, like a skeleton set on autopilot
Food; trash, fingers; throat, body; sweat, eyes; cry
There is nothing left of you;
You are a disorder


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This article has 62 comments.


on Aug. 28 2011 at 4:16 pm
ohheyyyelli SILVER, Woonsocket, Rhode Island
5 articles 3 photos 178 comments
Okay, thank you so much for the feedback! (:

on Aug. 27 2011 at 4:46 pm
ChocoMint SILVER, Bloomington, Indiana
7 articles 0 photos 129 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Love is like swallowing hot chocolate before it has cooled off. It takes you by surprise at first, but keeps you warm for a long time." - Anonymous

"Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear." - Anonymous

 I thought it was a little confusing for me personally.  It may just be because I've never had or known someone with a disorder.  I didn't like it as much as your other poems.

on Aug. 27 2011 at 2:29 pm
ohheyyyelli SILVER, Woonsocket, Rhode Island
5 articles 3 photos 178 comments

I didn't know about themself not being a word...thank you!

Since it's freeverse, I don't try to keep all the lines the same length, I prefer mine like this actually. But I do understand what your saying, many people may not enjoy reading it. Thank you for the helpful feedback(:


on Aug. 27 2011 at 3:23 am
IAmWhoIWantToBe PLATINUM, Manila, Other
41 articles 0 photos 650 comments

Favorite Quote:
‎"I’m learning how to drown out the constant noise that is such an inseparable part of my life. I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. I only have to follow my heart and concentrate on what I want to say to the world: I run my world." - Beyoncé

This poem is kinda similar to one of mine which is about consciousness in one's appearance.

Anyway, some lines are disturbingly long while some are not? I think they could use some work. Second, there is noe word such as themself. Rather, it is thmselves. Or at least I think so. But since this is a poem, grammar isn't that bad a monster.

And, oh, this is really a great poem!!!

on Aug. 26 2011 at 9:02 pm
BetweenWorks SILVER, Charlotte, North Carolina
5 articles 0 photos 60 comments

Favorite Quote:
The meaning of life is a question that you have already answered.

This is really good. Personaly, I don't have a eating disorder but this really does show what it feels like to people who dont know. Great job!

Bambi67 SILVER said...
on Aug. 26 2011 at 12:04 pm
Bambi67 SILVER, Chicago, Illinois
9 articles 1 photo 58 comments

Favorite Quote:
remember that the future comes one day at a time.
Dean Acheson

wow this is a perfect way of descriving an eating disorder without actually saying the exact words,I love it. PS...I don't see nothing wrong with it,check out mine thank you

on Aug. 23 2011 at 4:35 pm
casielynnxoxo SILVER, Pasadena, Maryland
6 articles 0 photos 62 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You'll never fully understand someone, unless you are them."

This is so true, it clarifies what eating disorders do to poeple so perfectly. This is my favorite of yours.

on Aug. 21 2011 at 9:27 pm
BetweenWorks SILVER, Charlotte, North Carolina
5 articles 0 photos 60 comments

Favorite Quote:
The meaning of life is a question that you have already answered.

Wow great job. I don't see anything wrong with it

on Aug. 10 2011 at 7:39 pm
DeusExMachina SILVER, Reading, Pennsylvania
7 articles 6 photos 93 comments

Favorite Quote:
The universe was exploding, each particle away from the next, hurtling us into dark and lonely space, eternally tearing us away from each other--child out of the womb, friend away from friend, moving from each other, each through his own pathway toward the goal-box of solitary death

wow. just spectacular

on Aug. 10 2011 at 11:59 am
HannSawyer15 BRONZE, North Brunswick, New Jersey
1 article 0 photos 108 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I say... lets speak it. Lets fight it. Lets write it. There's nothing to hold on to if it's already gone."

Wow... a few of my friends struggle with anorexia actually the only thing I would change is your second line maybe change it too "pound by pount ripping away pigments of who you are" but obviously it's not that big of a deal... I really really liked this and I think you hit the nail right on the head. Good job!

AMJaeh DIAMOND said...
on Aug. 10 2011 at 11:34 am
AMJaeh DIAMOND, Gallatin, Tennessee
51 articles 80 photos 106 comments

Favorite Quote:
you don't have to understand the language to know its Poetik written Muzyk~PoetikMuzyk
Not Everything is ours to keep, no matter how hard we had to fight for it~PoetikMuzyk
‎"The face of my enemy only frightens me when I see how much it resembles mine"
- Stanislaw J. Lec

a few neurons can make us all a morons dont you think?

wow 5/5 this really spoke to me it just amazes me that ppl go to great lengths in search of happiness when its been staring them in the face all this time

 


on Aug. 10 2011 at 11:12 am
ohheyyyelli SILVER, Woonsocket, Rhode Island
5 articles 3 photos 178 comments
I contemplated that for a bit too but I ended up using self. Thanks!

on Aug. 10 2011 at 2:23 am
PaigeStreet PLATINUM, Juneau, Alaska
47 articles 0 photos 218 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Stay golden"
- Johnny (The Outsiders, S. E. Hinton)

The context of disorder makes this poignant. Cool idea. 

on Aug. 10 2011 at 12:23 am
thetruthawaits94 SILVER, Duncan, Oklahoma
9 articles 0 photos 353 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain.

i'm not entirely sure but on line seven it might need to be "selves". this is a great topic and you shined light on such a terrible situation such as this. good job!

Number7713 said...
on Aug. 9 2011 at 10:59 pm
Number7713, La Mesa, California
0 articles 0 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Learn to say no. Because when the Devil shows up with a trunk full of promises, it's harder than you think to walk away." -I don't know...
or
"Think outside of your situation." -Hodgy Beats

I love the topic. I can totally relate because I have a friend, or shall I say had a friend, similar to this. Amazing.

on Aug. 6 2011 at 10:49 am
Beautifully written. I love the imagery, the message, everything. I can really see how the person is losing themselves and wearing away mentally and physically. Beautiful work, Elli.

on Aug. 2 2011 at 10:33 pm
HaleyDRog. GOLD, Easley, South Carolina
11 articles 14 photos 291 comments

Favorite Quote:
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life. It goes on. -Robert Frost

I really like the message!

on Aug. 2 2011 at 6:31 pm
MissColleen GOLD, Lebanon, Pennsylvania
14 articles 12 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
You know you're in love when you don't want to fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.-Dr. Seuss

This was so well written! I relate to it and it brought up a bubble of emotion. I love this, it was great. Very powerful.

on Aug. 1 2011 at 11:26 pm
ohheyyyelli SILVER, Woonsocket, Rhode Island
5 articles 3 photos 178 comments
Thankyou (:

on Aug. 1 2011 at 2:34 pm
Raytheraym PLATINUM, Belton, Missouri
47 articles 35 photos 460 comments
Wow, wow! This is great! Very well written with wonderful emotion and meaningfulness. :)


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