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I want to be perfect. I want to be what makes you so indescribably happy. I want to reach the highest mountain just to look down. I want to be at the top so you’ll catch me if I fall. I want to believe you’ll be there when I do so. I want to love with the strongest love. I want to hurt with the craziest pain. I want to live this life to every full I can get. I want to fill up walls with words. I want to make you realize who you are, who we are, and what we can do. I have so many goals that I am dying to achieve. I want to break with the biggest brick. I want to fight with the dullest sword and win. I want to crawl into the arms of someone to love me. I want to impact you, your friend, and your worst enemy. I want to be what you crave, what you envy, what you hate, and what you loathe. I want to love you with a passion, and hate you with a dread. I want to sleep forever, and stay awake for eternity. I want to die just to feel alive, because living makes me feel dead. I want to give everything to someone. I want to believe there is more to life. But I am. I am Janessa. I am broken. I am healing. I am messing up. I am a mistake. I am dying. I am living. I am a reversed curse. I am what you hate. I am what you loathe. I am not worth the love of the world. I am never going to reach my goals. I am lazy. I am a writer. I am not worth the pain. I am addicted to pouring myself out. I am filling back up. I am imperfect. I am just a girl, dying to be with you.



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abbya said...
Jul. 17, 2011 at 8:53 pm
wow that is awsome!!!! :)
 
Casual.dreamer replied...
Jul. 21, 2011 at 4:59 pm
thanks so much.:)
 
hanging_girl_666This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 14, 2011 at 8:21 pm
" I am a reversed curse." I love that line!!!!!!! Amazing!
 
Casual.dreamer replied...
Jul. 21, 2011 at 4:58 pm
thankyou.:)
 
Princess2011 said...
Jul. 12, 2011 at 11:39 pm
"I want to die just to feel alive, because living makes me feel dead." i loved this line and many others..  .. nice ..
 
Casual.dreamer replied...
Jul. 21, 2011 at 4:57 pm
thankyou very much.:)
 
musicsaves said...
Jul. 12, 2011 at 6:39 pm
i really like this poem..kinda long but fll of meaning..i love how u aid that u want to die bcuz like makes u feel dead bcuz i can totally relate..great job!
 
Casual.dreamer replied...
Jul. 12, 2011 at 6:47 pm
You totally understand. Thankyou so much!
 
musicsaves replied...
Jul. 13, 2011 at 2:04 pm
no problem....keep it up
 
Casual.dreamer said...
Jul. 12, 2011 at 5:32 pm
Thankyou so much. Yeah, I shouldve broke it up. But you learn from your mistakes.:)
 
soprano.acc said...
Jul. 12, 2011 at 5:12 pm
Not bad, but kind of repetitive. 
 
Casual.dreamer replied...
Jul. 12, 2011 at 5:35 pm
Thankyou!:)
 
k.s.hThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 12, 2011 at 3:59 pm
I like it, but it's long and filled with "I want"s and "I am"s.
 
Casual.dreamer replied...
Jul. 12, 2011 at 5:34 pm
thanks!:) Yes, it is I couldve shortened it.
 
k.s.hThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 13, 2011 at 7:49 am
Thank you for understanding and not getting all mad at me!
 
Casual.dreamer replied...
Jul. 21, 2011 at 4:57 pm
I wouldnt get mad! I need the critique to do better.:)
 
k.s.hThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Aug. 6, 2011 at 10:19 pm
I am glad for your understanding.
 
missalaynius said...
Jul. 12, 2011 at 2:01 pm
This poem is very good and strongly emotional, but it's hard to read because there are no line breaks and it's a big mass of text. Good work, though. :)
 
Casual.dreamer replied...
Jul. 12, 2011 at 5:33 pm
Thankyou so much. Yeah, I shouldve broke it up. But you learn from your mistakes.:)
 
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