Heart Break

June 20, 2011
I look down at
the paper
holding the pen
in one hand
wiping my nose with
the other
splash
I look around confused
and see the tear
stains fall fast on
the paper
I smell something
it's his cologne
I taste saltwater
from my tears
I wipe my eyes
and see your
face
a whimper escapes
my mouth
the room starts
to spin
I hear his voice
thud
my head hits
the desk
I've fainted
crack
It's 12:30 a.m.
and my heart is
broken





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This article has 20 comments. Post your own now!

Ha-5-rika said...
Aug. 6, 2011 at 10:53 am
It is full of emotion and it is wonderful. 5 strs. I love it.
 
musicispassion replied...
Aug. 6, 2011 at 2:19 pm
funny thing is this has never happened to me but it mans i have a brilliant imagination thanks :P
 
TheSilverLaurel said...
Jul. 17, 2011 at 12:20 pm
This is great. it's descriptive, it's emotional, and it's just amazing! 5 stars!
 
musicispassion replied...
Jul. 17, 2011 at 2:50 pm
that means i have a great imaginaton huh? thanks glad u like my work
 
OfTheUnknown said...
Jul. 10, 2011 at 1:05 pm
I like this alot. from what I read on here and what Im told from other people you described it perfectly.
 
musicispassion replied...
Jul. 10, 2011 at 1:10 pm
i know i must have a fantastic imagination haha
 
CarrieAnn13 said...
Jul. 7, 2011 at 11:03 pm
This perfectly describes heartbreak.  I didn't see any spelling or grammar mistakes either, so good job!
 
musicispassion replied...
Jul. 7, 2011 at 11:04 pm
thanks isn't it funny how i wrote this but i've never had my heart broken maybe a hairline crack but nothing like this
 
CarrieAnn13 replied...
Jul. 7, 2011 at 11:05 pm
Well, you have a good imagination then!  This is exactly what heartbreak feels like, believe me.
 
musicispassion replied...
Jul. 7, 2011 at 11:08 pm
thanks and i'm sorry to hear that u know what it feels like :(
 
CarrieAnn13 replied...
Jul. 7, 2011 at 11:10 pm
Don't worry; it was only temporary. :)
 
musicispassion replied...
Jul. 7, 2011 at 11:12 pm
that's good
 
sakina replied...
Jul. 8, 2011 at 12:37 am
I really liked this poem...And u've discribed heartbreak absolutely correct...
 
musicispassion replied...
Jul. 8, 2011 at 1:03 pm
thanks that must mean i have a good imagination haha:P
 
DoubleN said...
Jul. 7, 2011 at 10:23 am
I really like this poem! especially how the sound words are in there spiratically. great job!
 
musicispassion replied...
Jul. 7, 2011 at 2:17 pm
thank u could u look at some of my other stuff
 
DoubleN replied...
Jul. 7, 2011 at 6:48 pm
of course! i'd love to :)
 
musicispassion replied...
Jul. 7, 2011 at 8:18 pm
thanks much appreciated
 
CrossMyHeartAndHopeToLie said...
Jul. 6, 2011 at 10:06 am
Great poem. In this one breaking up the words so much is actually a great idea. It helps the reader understand how broken the person is.
 
musicispassion replied...
Jul. 6, 2011 at 7:21 pm
thank you very much :P
 
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