Ever since I can remember
I’ve wanted to be you.
Ever since I can remember
I’ve gone against your every command.
You are so powerful, I know
that I will never be half of
what you have become.
When you start something
you make sure to finish.
If I start something,
I back out when it gets hard.
Somehow you don’t see
my cowardice. You have
faith in me.

What if I fail?

I couldn’t live up to the
expectations you had
for me. That is why I
left.
Not because I didn’t
like you.
Not because I liked my
father more.
I’m not going to turn
out how you pictured
and that scares me.
I don’t want to
disappoint you. You always
say do my best.

What is my best?

The day I packed
everything up,
hurt me as much
as it hurt you. I just
didn’t know how to
explain how I was feeling.
You’ve always said
my job is to be
me.

Who am I?

I’ve always pictured myself
as similar to you,
but what if that isn’t
who I am.
Mommy,
I had to leave to make sure
I knew who Nicole was. I didn’t
want to get lost in our
growing family. I had to
find me. I had to figure
out how to be everything
you wanted me to be.

I’m coming home now.