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Wisdom of the Stars

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On clear spring nights, are you ever drawn to the stars?
Have you ever stared into their midst, wondering who it is you are?
Is there something forgotten, hidden somewhere in the sky?
A cosmic key lost in space, an answer to your Why?
Do you seek the universe's perspective,
to see yourself as you truly are?
Maybe if you ponder their twinkle long enough
you can gain the wisdom
of the stars.



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thetruthawaits94 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 13, 2011 at 8:57 pm:
This is great, as well. I would maybe change the second line that has the "are" at the end. It feels like you are repeating yourself a bit. Other than that! Keep it up! and yes, i have wondered the same. The stars make everything so BIG. It's hard to take it all in was you recognize the enormity of it all. that kind of thing makes us wonder.. :)
 
KyleG This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 14, 2011 at 6:51 pm :
Repeating myself in the first and second line, or in the poem in general? (because of the same rhyme occurring twice, which i don't particularly like in retrospect).
 
thetruthawaits94 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 14, 2011 at 8:30 pm :
Well, on both of the "are" lines you are basically saying the same thing. so i meant both. You rhyme "are" twice, and then you say 'wondering who you truly are' (basically) twice, too. that's what i meant. Maybe conjure up a brand new thought and find some other rhyming word so you  are not repeating yourself in both aspects. It no big deal though!!! 
 
thetruthawaits94 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 14, 2011 at 8:34 pm :
oh and so sorry about that first comment i left! I wasn't making ANY sense there at the end! I think i was thinking to fast while i typed and i was skipping words! well, what i meant to say was that once you realize the enormity of the stars and world out there that hasn't been discovered it makes you wonder about life in general and the BIGGER meaning behind it all. So yeah, sorry about that... :P
 
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