A Falling In and Out

Spontaneity,
a blessing and a curse.
The blessing of a kiss
urged by the rush of a heartbeat
that boils blood so hot
like a wet summer in July.
The spontaneous kiss of love
that landslides and morphs into more –
friendship –
and that snowballs, gaining momentum –
trust –
which sparks a passion –
lust –
and eventually leaves two
in love.
Spontaneity
gains a new identity;
a commitment and long-term attachment,
a drug
that, like sunshine to a flower,
cannot be lived without.
So you let it stay,
you accommodate so it does stay
because it makes your world spin
like a windmill in a thunderstorm.
In comes movie nights and dinners for two,
provocative evenings
that lead to deep satisfaction.
The perfect world?
Then
Spontaneity,
Creeping back in.
The curse of an outside object,
impacted by mindless thoughts and fears
creating an irrationality
like the mixture of oil and vinegar.
Spontaneous,
the urge of anger
that quickly turns,
friends into foes.
Increasing insecurity and decreasing trust
Tumbles and falls into a tense craving for violence
Which causes two to fall out
into hate.
Spontaneity,
Disgust and detachment.
A beloved person turns
to the very oppression a slave wishes to escape,
but fears to act on such a desire
halt any such action.
Scared of change,
scared to lose love,
this person cannot be lived without.
Let him go,
be strong,
be proud,
let him go,
but you realize how much you want to hold on,
like a toddler holds onto a teddy bear.
Spontaneity,
it fades away.
Bracing myself to say the dreaded, unsayable words;
The sentence that will end us.
a perfect kiss,
a spontaneous kiss goodbye.





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