In the Mirror

I am
unpredictable,
the variable,
the unknown quantity,
the chaos factor,
Chemical X.

My mother sees
the daughter that is
different,
the odd one out,
the black sheep,
the ugly duckling.

My sister
sees
a bully,
the bad sibling,
she can blame her for everything.

Teachers
see
a student,
sometimes spacey,
easily distractable,
but who works hard.
Very intelligent,
large vocabulary.

The psychiatrist
sees
misplaced anger,
trust issues,
hiding within a shell.
A girl of self-harm.

My friends
see a
laughing,
talking,
shopping,
tough,
fighting,
helping,
nurturing,
girl.

My father
sees
well,
I’m not sure
who he sees,
but apparently,
she makes him proud.

When I look in the mirror,
I see
inside
myself:
anger,
sadness,
pain,
fighting.

But on the outside,
I see
friends,
happiness,
playing,
singing, laughing.