Turtle Shell

May 6, 2011
By austenite GOLD, River Falls, Wisconsin
austenite GOLD, River Falls, Wisconsin
13 articles 0 photos 177 comments

Favorite Quote:
...one word from you will silence me forever. If, however, your feelings have changed, I will have to tell you: you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love....I love...I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on. -Mr. Darcy


When I am embarrassed
The room feels stuffy
Wringing me out from the inside
Like a pot of scalding water
Being thrown over my body

When I am embarrassed
The words mix themselves up in my mouth
Coming out in an awkward jumble
Until I want to disappear like a turtle
And hide my head in shame

When I am embarrassed
My smooth shell will be a refuge
From the waves of mortifying emotions
And I will cocoon myself safely
In a quiet place where I am just
myself


The author's comments:
I wrote this for a creative writing class - it's an extended metaphor poem.

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This article has 10 comments.


austenite GOLD said...
on Jul. 29 2011 at 11:27 am
austenite GOLD, River Falls, Wisconsin
13 articles 0 photos 177 comments

Favorite Quote:
...one word from you will silence me forever. If, however, your feelings have changed, I will have to tell you: you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love....I love...I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on. -Mr. Darcy

Thank you very much! I try to tell it like it is :)

austenite GOLD said...
on Jul. 29 2011 at 11:26 am
austenite GOLD, River Falls, Wisconsin
13 articles 0 photos 177 comments

Favorite Quote:
...one word from you will silence me forever. If, however, your feelings have changed, I will have to tell you: you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love....I love...I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on. -Mr. Darcy

Thank you!

on Jul. 28 2011 at 12:05 am
ohmakemeover BRONZE, Centerville, Minnesota
3 articles 0 photos 99 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Touch comes before sight, before speech. It is the first language and the last, and it always tells the truth."- Margaret Atwood

I often feel exactly the same way.  It is so refreshing to read a poem that is honest and a little claustrophobic, not littered with flowery prose and imagery.  You're very good at getting your true, blunt point across while still giving the reader a treat.

on Jul. 20 2011 at 5:43 pm
ohheyyyelli SILVER, Woonsocket, Rhode Island
5 articles 3 photos 178 comments
I love the metaphor!

on Jul. 7 2011 at 3:02 pm
Zinaidia SILVER, Moreno Valley, California
8 articles 3 photos 78 comments

Favorite Quote:
\\\"Whatever you are, be a good one.\\\"

Pretty good, you have a big imagination. The whole turtle shell concept is very relate-able. Only suggestion is to save mentioning the title of a poem until the end, it adds suspense. But this one is still very good, with the "myself" at the end. Good job :)

austenite GOLD said...
on Jul. 1 2011 at 3:47 pm
austenite GOLD, River Falls, Wisconsin
13 articles 0 photos 177 comments

Favorite Quote:
...one word from you will silence me forever. If, however, your feelings have changed, I will have to tell you: you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love....I love...I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on. -Mr. Darcy

Haha, thanks very much guys!

on Jun. 28 2011 at 7:23 pm
JustAnotherOwl SILVER, Unknown, New York
6 articles 0 photos 379 comments

Favorite Quote:
"See, we don't really care who you are;
Everyone is capable of looking up and wishing on a star.
So catch it, so contagious, this day-dreamer's disease,
And hope can be your sword, slaying darkness with belief."

"Sanctuary"- Paradise Fears

I completely agree with the above two...Guess there's not much else to say! Great poem, pleasant read!

on Jun. 28 2011 at 6:40 pm
Reader101 PLATINUM, Amarillo, Texas
42 articles 4 photos 135 comments

Favorite Quote:
"We're all pretty bizarre, some of us are just better at hiding it." -Andrew Clark(The Breakfast Club)

"Lack of format? Not possible in my opinion. Writing is an art, therefore you do you what you want." -b_gomez114

I agree!!! With the poem and with Mr. Bill... :) its simply perfect. I can relae to every word but I never wouldhave  thought to pull them together like that. You are a great writer! Keep it up! :)

austenite GOLD said...
on Jun. 28 2011 at 6:14 pm
austenite GOLD, River Falls, Wisconsin
13 articles 0 photos 177 comments

Favorite Quote:
...one word from you will silence me forever. If, however, your feelings have changed, I will have to tell you: you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love....I love...I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on. -Mr. Darcy

Thanks for reading and commenting!

BillM GOLD said...
on Jun. 26 2011 at 2:44 pm
BillM GOLD, JACKSONVILLE, Florida
12 articles 0 photos 26 comments
Well developed poem; great 3 stanzas.  Very pleasant read (not too intense) and relateable. Everyone has felt this way, so the metaphor definately made sense. Great work!


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