A twist
of the frosty frozen
doorknob tingles my
pink, warm pads of my fingers
Wind sputtering in my ears
Whipping my back
Inside
I see the
tear stained faces
shaking shoulders
and
sorrow

I hear the news
He is dead
Grandpas dead
fuzzy pajamas
rubbing my back
feel like a stone wall

Shattering my heart
exploding
like fireworks
an acidic bitter lump forming
at the back of my throat
I shove her off
sprinting upstairs
to find comfort
leaving her destroyed

I break down
memories flooding my thoughts
emotions of sorrow, anger and longing
take over me

He was sick
very sick
yet
i didn't realize he
was dying
the act he put on
was to protect me
yet in the end
it hurt even more

I still visit him
Lot 55
under the big oak tree
its fingers reaching up to heaven
shading him
protecting him forever